Nice Girls Finish Last

2009-08-21T21:51:00.000+08:00

I've moved.

www.takingabreather.multiply.com

Mask-ed up

2009-08-20T10:17:00.006+08:00

I'm up early today. Been having nose bleeds for the past two days. I'm going to school later in the afternoon to complete my O levels FNN coursework since the deadline is tomorrow. Since i'm super free right now, i'm going to update my Facebook account after like five months or so. Okay, i'm not really gonna update it. Just the profile pictures i guess. I'm not into all this networking sites. Maybe i'll delete my Facebook account soon.

And i just realised that my birthday is coming really soon. Not that i'm THAT excited about it. I don't like getting older. But friends and baby have been waiting for me to turn 16 so they can watch NC16 movies with me. I know, pathetic. I like birthdays because i like getting presents. Who doesn't? But i like getting together with the people i love on my birthday. That's the best part of a birthday. And to add on, my birthday this year falls on a really nice date. 09/09/09. Psst, i can't wait to receive Sarah's gift. I think i'll still react that same way i told ya months ago.

I woke up smiling, reading your messages. I forgot how happy we used to be. It's okay, things will get better from now on. Just take good care of yourself. Don't sleep too late and skip meals. Trust me, even if i say hurtful words to you, i still love you. I'm keeping my promise. I love you baby.

LIVERPOOL FC WON. WEEEHHOOOOO :D

3

2009-08-19T17:04:00.006+08:00

Right now, i'm in high spirits. I'm happy, elated, delighted, ecstatic, jubilant, haiya, i can't think of anymore synonyms for happy. Because i got a B3 for my Malay O levels. I really am still in shock over my results. I mean, how in the world did i get a B3. I aimed for a C5 and definitely surpassed my expectations. I'm really satisfied with a B3. Atikah broke the news to me. I told mama and she was shocked too. My cousin who got a C6 (i'm really happy for him because he passed. lets just say that my family really sucks in Malay language) simply said "PUKI!!!" to me when he knew my results. Hahaha. Annisa made my day. She is definitely the best. Thank you pabo.

Anyway, i shall not be so heartless. Cikgu Radiah, if you're ever reading this, then i hope you realise that whatever i've typed here is truly sincere. We both never really got along well. I always argued with you when you started nagging at me. You were not certain i could make it and it's only right for you to feel that way. You always said i was smiling and laughing too much. I wasn't interested in your lessons, i daydreamed and talked alot. I always longed for the bell to ring and clapped my hands in happiness the moment your lessons were over. I remember you saying, "Aisyah, kematangan awak sangat rendah." whenever i did that. I didn't have any feelings at first because i didn't even know what kematangan was. I also gave you rubbish work whenever i couldn't tahan your nagging. I hate to admit this but honestly, it's thanks to your nagging that i worked hard, more than usual for my O levels paper. I thought that if i got a decent grade for the first paper, i would not take the November paper and need not go for your lessons anymore and listen to you nag. So, thank you. I'm glad you're my Malay teacher, i knew you cared. Yes, your constant nagging was really worth it. Thanks cikgu, really (:

But i couldn't really be that happy due to some reasons. It's okay, i have faith in him.

Hey baby. It's been sometime since i called you that, right? Keep your chin up. No matter what happens, i'll always be here for you 24/7. Shit happens, shit happens. Let's put everything that happened behind us. We both know we're stronger than this. You've always been the positive one, so don't let this bring you down. I know you can do it. Let's just concentrate on our studies now, alright. You know i got your back ;)
P.S. If you think i don't love you anymore, then i'll call you stupid.

Nothing has changed

2009-08-18T19:45:00.006+08:00

4 days mc.

Everyone's telling me to hurry and get well soon. I will, don't worry. Aisha sulked because she said she already misses me today and she can't see me for another four days. Haha. Silly girl, we can still meet outside. Classmates and girlfriends asked about two things in particular: Malay O levels results and O levels English oral. They're both tomorrow. And i'm both glad and disappointed that i can't be at school tomorrow. I'm quite curious about my Malay results though. I guess i'm going to gain weight by the end of this week. Since i'll just be eating and sleeping. Nah, i really need to buck up. I'm going to drill myself to study Math, Physics and Accounts. I can't afford to waste anymore time.

I'm getting used to my duck voice. But i really hate taking medicine. I hate swallowing pills. Chatting with Sarah now. Crazyness as always. I miss Sarah. Hahaha. And again. Why do you people bother so much about my relationship with Hamirul? Then now, my close friendship with Aisha? Seriously, concentrate on your studies and get a life. I don't bother about yours, yours doesn't even affect me one bit. So, do something useful with your lives for a change. Thank you.

Wishing all the best to everyone for their Mother Tongue O levels results.

You certainly made me open my eyes.

Throat infection

2009-08-17T12:47:00.003+08:00

In cyber lab right now.

I sent Sebastian a long six text message. Well, i'm always sending long essays to everyone. Anyway, i sent him that long message to cheer him up. I don't like seeing him that down. Maybe it's time for people like me and him to not let others affect us. I seriously feel like slitting my throat. I can't eat anything, all i've been doing is drinking water and going to the toilet to pee. So, after my lab lesson, Annisa's meeting me and we're gonna eat at Banquet. And i'm going to eat porridge =.=' I'm craving for Oreo with milk though..

Physics, Math, Accounts. The three subjects i really need to drill myself with. Study study study. That's the only thing on my mind now. Not you, not anyone else.

I want to see you soon

2009-08-16T16:38:00.003+08:00

I've been getting back home late these past few days. Destress. And my flu isn't getting any better, it's been a week already. And i'm down with a fever now. Great, just great.

I've said it more than once, and i'll say it again. It's either all or nothing. And i know what everyone expects me to do. I know everyone's thinking that i should stop trying to win a game i can't win. I'm wondering why you didn't just do it when you could have. Sometimes, those words are at the tip of my tongue but i'm holding them back because shit happens. We both know our priority is our studies right now but you think hard and tell me if you can balance both. Because if you can't, then i'll see you in my dreams.

When you cried, i wiped away your tears. It just isn't fair.

2009-08-14T15:42:00.003+08:00

I know that this blog of mine have stalkers. Frankly, i'm honoured. But seriously, learn to mind your own business. Is my relationship with Hamirul that interesting to you people? Everyone thinks that Hamirul and I have been together for four months plus. Hahaha.

Meeting Aisha later. Letting our hair loose and go crazy again. Destress, destress, destress! I'm getting addicted to this word. My hair colour is reappearing again (smiling). Aisha! Let's dye our hair really soon!

Why should i bother? MONDAY.

Draining all of my energy,

2009-08-14T13:39:00.003+08:00

Long face early in the morning. Everyone's tired of that long, glum face. I know. I am tired too. I wasted my time coming to school today. Only studied for two hours, no, it's more like an hour only since we went to the lab for Chemistry class. Will be going out to study with my gorgeous girlfriend, Jannah. And yes, will be back late again because i need to destress.

You're the first person who i think of at the start of the day and the only one i think of at the end of the day. But i can feel you changing me and i can't afford to slip much further. I'll be strong with or without you.

2009-08-13T22:41:00.002+08:00

Things to do:

1) Repair our Adidas watches (Aisyah & Aisha)
2) Ignore and not text that person
3) Start liking Physics
4) Get a new phone
5) STUDY STUDY STUDY

What's your name again?

2009-08-13T15:44:00.005+08:00

There's a line you just don't cross and you crossed it.
Great. The day Malay Olevels results will be out will also be the day i'll be taking my English Olevels oral. I feel like slitting my throat. Going out with Aisha. Aisyah and Aisha need to let our hair loose and go crazy. Maybe we'll catch a movie since i have free tickets. Will be back late. Take care everyone.

My last message to you.

WATCH ME WALK AWAY

2009-08-12T21:27:00.008+08:00

I'm going to heed Alif's advice.

Even though i kept to myself quite alot today, i kept singing and humming to BEP's new single, I gotta feeling, with my sengau voice. I swear my throat is getting on my nerves. This flu i'm having is really annoying. Jannah and Cassandra keep rolling their eyes whenever i sing to I gotta feeling. Malay Olevels results will be out on the 19th. Girlfriends have set their goals for the paper and frankly, i'll be satisfied with just a pass. They told me that they'll even cry if they get a B4 for Malay Olevels. I stare at them and think they're crazy. I really don't have much feelings for Malay paper. But i hope i get at least a C5. Then i won't take the November paper and won't have to attend Malay classes again. That thought puts a smile on my face.

You've pushed your luck way too far darling.
I'll be watching the pleasant sight of you falling.

**I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night that tonight's gonna be a good night that tonight's gonna be a good good night.

2009-08-11T23:33:00.002+08:00

Something to make me laugh and get away from reality. I want to play this game as well. Anyone?

Why?

2009-08-11T22:38:00.003+08:00

What do you do when you're faced with such uncertainty? What do you do when the person you love most is the one giving you such a hard time and making you fall even harder? What do you do when a few words solve everything yet it's pointless eventually because the hurt reappears again? It's one whole cycle.

It's not nice hearing something like that. You're torn apart between the truth, your own intuition and what others say. Instead of asking how, what, with who, the only thing that's on my mind is, "Why?"

Why?

I don't care anymore

2009-08-10T16:03:00.006+08:00

The best friend anyone can ever ask for. I miss you pabo. And good luck for your prelims.

Saying goodbye is one of my many weaknesses. I mean, parting is never easy, am i right? I hugged Cik Mas and tried not to cry. Then Walter salam-ed me and i looked up at him, saying, "Kiss the hand, little cuz." He kissed my hand and i smiled. At 1.8m tall with a huge built, he teared up. I tiptoed and hugged my "little" cousin. He's only fourteen years old, it's little wonder why he teared up. He said to me in his German accent, "Even though you're so crazy, i sayang you." I cried eventually. I know, i know, no surprise in that. Everyone knows what a crybaby i am.

The day before, Nasrul, Walter and i went out and went back to Tampines at 5am because it's too hot at home and we couldn't sleep. The three of us talked about our girlfriend/boyfriend because we simply missed them. I guess i shouldn't talk about missing Hamirul so much because Nasrul's gorgeous girlfriend lives in Australia and Walter is away from his Greek girlfriend (who by the way looks so much like Taylor Swift). I went on a shopping spree with Cik Mas on her last day in Singapore and she gave me an advanced birthday present. My eyes lit up and i hugged her. I love money, who doesn't? But obviously, i love my aunt gazillion times more. She told me to hurry and get my O levels over and done with so i can be with her in Germany. I miss Cik Mas and Walter already. I'm chatting with Walter now. They're back in Germany, thank God they had a safe flight.

I'm glad i got to spend loads of time with Cik Mas and Walter during their time here. But i guess i kinda neglected Hamirul? I'm sorry. He wanted to go out with me yesterday and watch the fireworks together but i was with my paternal family. He texted me telling me he missed me.

I really can't wait to migrate.

If i'm being realistic and smart, i'll make it all end soon.

Faking

2009-08-08T00:44:00.006+08:00

It's 12.44am right now. I just got back. I'm exhausted. But i don't feel like sleeping. I woke up in the afternoon. I spent my late afternoon with Cassandra sweetheart. We watched G.I Joe and Channing Tatum has really nice eyes. I had a fun time. Hamirul told me he had a fun time performing to the school today. I smiled. I wished i could watch the performance. On a lighter note, i went out with my sister and her boyfriend. We went to Seletar Airport and ate supper at MJ.

Cassandra wrote this on her blog: "I am very proud of my sweetheart today. She is so clever and the best girlfriend that a guy would ever get. I love you sweetheart , you did the right thing:)"
Thank you my dear. I thought long and hard about it and realised that i couldn't do it. Because it's simply not the right thing to do. I rather hurt myself than hurt Hamirul. The thought of hurting him sickens me so bad. I really can't do that.

You're still the one who makes me the happiest. A relationship is definitely not easy, isn't it? I know how much you love me and you obviously know how much i love you too. That's all that matters. I miss you and your gorgeous eyes. You definitely have the nicest eyes i've ever seen on a guy. No matter how hard things get, i'll be strong for your sake and myself. I'll always be here for you, i'm not going anywhere, remember that. From the bottom of my heart, i genuinely love you, Hamirul Hakim. Be happy and healthy always, that's all i'm asking for. **Kissing you on the forehead.

Remember,

2009-08-06T20:16:00.007+08:00

Slacked with Aisha for three hours. She definitely made my day today. Thanks gorgeous. Hamirul called me in the afternoon, asking about my whereabouts.

It took me three hours to keep my composure. Then i lost it. The word sorry, so frequently used, means so little now. God gave you a mouth and a brain. But apparently, you don't know how to use them well. So do me a favour, next time you shoot your mouth off, use your brain as well. If you haven't notice, i do have feelings. Not only did you cross the line, you stomped all over my pride. The words fuck you are at the tip of your tongue right now, isn't it? I'm all ears. Go ahead, make me fall even harder. I'll just be getting up, like i always have and wear my fake smile for everyone to see. Don't push your luck darling.

2009-08-06T06:38:00.002+08:00

If you don't like it, you can go.
Easy rule?
You're not thinking again.
When you come to your senses, then come back.
I'll always be waiting, i always have.

In your very own ways, you show me your love and how much you care. But in your very own ways, that's when i get hurt too and need to take step backwards to breathe.

It's you

2009-08-05T21:59:00.005+08:00

I just got back from night study. Went to school with Hawa and Atikah. They made me smile so widely early in the morning. Thank you my favourite girls. Cassandra made me laugh and smile alot today. Thank you sweetheart. Atikah, Hawa and i went to BPP before going to night study and i had fun. Night study was okay i guess? Before that, Hawa and i watched baby and his band rehearse. We weren't supposed to be there so eventually, we got chased away. Thankfully, i managed to see baby on the drums again (huge smile). My stomach is giving me problems. On the way back home with baby, i vomited. Hamirul hurriedly bought me my favourite drink. I laughed to myself when i looked up to the sky. Hamirul looked up too and smiled. It's a full moon tonight. He knows how much i love a full moon. He had a really long day today and i know he's really exhausted but he sent me home. Thank you baby. You're the best, always. He kissed me goodbye and i smiled. For some reason just now, it hurts to part with him (sounds corny but true). My hand was still on his face and i didn't want to put my hand down. I know i'll get to see him tomorrow but somehow, it felt so difficult to turn around and walk away. I stroked his hair and he kissed me again. I smiled.

Lean on me when you're tired, depend on me when things get tough. I'm always here for you, remember that.

Why do i feel like crying?

ASHH

2009-08-04T18:50:00.009+08:00

I woke up with a smile on my face. Baby made me happy till he fell asleep on me after midnight. We spent quality sms time. He thanked me and told me he appreciates how i'm always making him smile and laugh and how i'm always taking care of him and worrying about him^^ Anytime baby, you're my boyfriend, that's why. Baby's fever has subsided so he went to school today. I fetched him under his block in the morning and got my favourite morning kiss. We both had PE in the first period. On the way to school, i told baby, "We same timing for PE right? Haiya! See your face again. Tsk!" He glared at me and i grinned from ear to ear. I brought my water bottle down for PE for him. At first, the girls and i played volleyball. After that, Fayyadhah and me went to ask baby's classmates (girls) if they wanna play captain ball with us. They agreed. So it was six girls from 4E3 (Jannah, Nonoi, Syaza, Zubaidah, Fayyadhah and me) against six girls from 5NA. We won 10-8.

I met up with baby when PE ended and he whispered to me something which made me laugh out loud. That guy ahhh. I told Hawa what Hamirul whispered to me during PE and she laughed. I also told Hawa how shiok sendiri i was yesterday because i asked Hamirul, "You love me alot, don't you?" with the proud and arrogant look on my face. And his reply, "Yes i do babe." was perfect. It left me smiling like a silly idiot. Hawa laughed again. I adore Hawa, i always have. I slept during Math class, continued sleeping for ten minutes during recess and slept throughout Physics class. I didn't even do the experiment. Mr Lim excused me because i had a migraine. I had gastric pains during Accounts class. I've not been eating alot for well, a month already. That's why i keep losing weight. Baby is endlessly nagging at me to eat. I went back early because my head really hurts and slept all the way till 6.30pm. Which means i didn't go for night study. Well, night study was definitely not what i imagined. Baby woke me up when he called and maybe we're going to study together later. If i'm feeling much better and if he's not tired.

Hey pabo. Hurry and get well soon. I really miss you.

Tomorrow's a Wednesday. I'm going to ask baby if...
(If you're a close girlfriend of mine, you'd know why)

Night dating with sayaaanngggg

2009-08-03T22:52:00.006+08:00

When this picture was taken, Hawa and Atikah shouted, "Esa muka buruk seh!" They asked for it. So i ran after them and turned into my fierce self. Hahaha. As if. They know i'm always playing around with them :D

I went to school with my favourite girls Hawa and Atikah. I was really hyper though i was fasting. Baby was down with a fever and Annisa has bad stomach cramps. I finally completed Part B of Food and Nutrition coursework and good riddance, maaannnn. I was so hyper throughout that i wondered when i'd get tired. That happened during Malay class. I fell asleep and was really weak plus tired. I called baby and he was having his rehearsal. Went to night study and did Math. Silly thing, i had nothing to eat to break my fast. Baby was a sweetheart and went to the class i was in and offered his ice lemon tea. Better than nothing, right? He texted me and kept saying "I know you're hungry right." Of course i am, you silly boy. He walked past again and coincidentally, i was standing at the door. Why? Because of something. I told baby why. He laughed and made his irritating facial expressions. I passed him the strepsils i got for him and my water bottle. That big baby of mine. Gila gila with Atikah and Hawa and walked off with baby. Girlfriends kept teasing me when they saw Hamirul and me together and they all saw the cheeky and pervertic look on my face. Yes, i was going crazy and doing the cowboy hands. HAHA. I told them that me and baby were going to study Biology =.='

CRAZY.

We walked to Fajar Mac and takeaway food. Sat under a block and ate. Talked, laughed, talked more and laughed more. My big baby is still down with a fever so i still feel really uneasy. It did make me worry a lot less when i'm with him. I really adore Hamirul today. Though he was tired and already sick, he sent me all the way home. Thank you my dear. I offered to send him back home but he didn't let me. I got my favourite kiss goodbye (huge huge smile). He's texting me now telling me that he has taken his medicine. Hahaha. How adorable.

Hurry and get well soon sayang!

2009-08-02T20:39:00.003+08:00

To this certain person,
i really wish you'd wake up. It's so hard trying to always please you and do whatever you want. Stop being so emotional and petty. I know what you're trying to do now. You're resorting to all sorts of nonsense to get attention. Stop stooping so low. Grow up.

Two months

2009-08-02T12:10:00.003+08:00

I was cooped up at Tampines yesterday since my paternal family held a kenduri. I was really worn out but i can't possibly not do anything. Around seven plus, Kak Fizah, Nasrul, Walter, Biah, Syafiqah and i sneaked out and ran to Tampines Mall. Kak Fizah's boyfriend (Hashim) was participating in the Asia Band competition thingy. And cousins told me that if Hashim's band makes it through to the finals which is gonna be held at Vivo City on the 15th August, they want me to bring Hamirul along. I smiled. I laughed when Nasrul was giving me tips on a good relationship. But i shall not doubt him because he and his gorgeous girlfriend have been going on strong for three years though it's a long distance relationship. Now, i really look up to him for that.

What a two months anniversary Hamirul and i had. He wasn't feeling well and i was dead tired and at Tampines. I'm not complaining anyway. It's a small matter not to spend time together on our two months anniversary. But it's a big matter that Hamirul is now sick. I feel really uneasy. I'm going on a shopping spree today with Cik Mas, Kak Fizah, Biah and Mama. I'm really happy but i can't be too excited because my beloved boyfried is stuck at home, all sick. He told me to enjoy myself but i can't, really. I'm thinking of getting him something when i'm out shopping. And it's a must to get for him strepsils and bring my water bottle to school for him tomorrow. I hope he gets better really soon.

Happy belated two months to us, Hamirul. You're supposed to elak when i punch you, you irritant. You're not supposed to willingly take each and every punch i give you. Yes, we've been through so much that brought us down but somehow, we've always been strong and showed to one another that we still do care in our very own ways. You're the only one who makes me really happy and really mad. I won't say that we'll definitely have a happily ever after. But i know we'll both try to. You mean the world to me and i wake up everyday, feeling really blessed because i have you. Don't give up on me because i won't. I love you, i always have and always will.
P.S. Let's both work really hard for our O levels. Together.

Tomorrow!

2009-07-31T20:13:00.004+08:00

Today's really tiring but i'm happy.

I thought baby woke up late again but he kept his promise. Met him under his block and i smiled at the sight of him. He gave me my favourite morning kiss and i smiled even more. He watched yesterday's videos on my phone and i fed him the cookies as we walked to school. So manje la that boyfriend of mine. Hawa and Atikah were behind us and they said we looked very sweet together. Thank you. Oral was annoying i guess? I didn't like the picture conversation part at all. I met Hawa after my oral was done and we walked around Bangkit area and finally sat under some block. We opened up to one another and obviously i had an awesome time with her. I always do. That's why she's my favourite. Baby texted me after he was done with his oral and i met him. But before that, i played at the playground and it's funny how i was too big for the slide. I kinda got stuck and Hawa kept laughing. It's nice to see her laugh and being all hyper. Baby was busy eating and indulging himself with the rest of the cookies when i met him. We small talk-ed. Somehow, it was a little awkward. We've not been meeting up for almost two weeks since we've both been really busy. We walked to baby's place and he changed. We walked to my place after that.

On the way, he looked at his watch and quickly said, "Today what day ah? 31st right? Then what day is tomorrow ah?" =.=' He's really asking me for a smack on his jendol because he was acting all cute. Not bad, he actually remembered that tomorrow is our anniversary. Slowly, we got more comfortable with one another and started being like a real couple. All it took was me pronouncing the words four months as four-mones (like hormones) to break the ice. He teased me all the way. We laughed and talked about almost everything. Finally after two weeks or so, we had a proper meet-up. I guess i got a little too emotional and ended up crying. Everyone knows how gembeng i am. I kept punching Hamirul in the chest and he willingly took every punch i gave. I kept telling him, I Don't Like You. Deep down, we both know why i reacted that way and we're both really sorry towards one another.

On a happier note, i only cried for less than twenty minutes. After that, we both went crazy. He kept teasing me about everything that he thought was funny. I teased him as well. About his jendol. I told him how i wanted to shine and polish his jendol to make it extra shiny and smooth. I kept slapping his jendol because i wanted to irritate him. In return, he imitated me and i screamed at him. He cringed his eyebrows and i scolded him again. We always have mini wrestling matches but as always, i end up laughing because i'm really very ticklish. He was shocked to see that i've lost alot of weight. My school skirt is really loose and long since i've lost weight so i pulled up my skirt really really up high and his reaction was exactly what i predicted. He was so noisy and warned me never to wear a skirt this short. I kissed him goodbye on his forehead.

He's having his tuition right now. I'm really sleepy now. So i'll end it here. Take care everyone.

Hmmburger!

2009-07-31T01:02:00.004+08:00

I'm awake right now because i'm doing my FNN. Really time consuming. Baby texted me saying that he has yet to eat the cookies because he wants to eat them with me (huge huge huge smile). So he told me to go to school with him today and we can eat the cookies along the way to school or something (huge huge huge smile). He kept thanking me for being there to watch him perform. It's funny how i overcame my anger and fear today. I kept telling myself, "Aisyah. At least do this for Hamirul." And i did. Baby just fell asleep, i bet he's sleeping like a baby. He had a really long day. I still can't stop smiling. Especially when he told me that he loves me. I love you too, my dear.

Saturday.

Project "Happiness"

2009-07-30T19:03:00.005+08:00

I don't know how to thank her for what she did today. She may think that she did little but to me, that was a really huge thing she did for me. Anyway, it's the little things she does that makes me grateful to have a friend like her. Thank you for today. I'll always remember what you did for me today. I love you Ja-Ja-Jannah!

Well, where should i start? Let's just fast forward to the Battle of The Bands. You couldn't see me in the audience but i was watching the whole thing. From the third level, the corridor along the control room. With Hawa, Shuh Yee, Jannah and Nonoi. I promised baby i would watch and there i was peeping through a window, watching him perform. Before he went up on stage, i quietly called out for him from above and he was shocked to see me up there. I kept my promise, my dear. He told me to sit with the audience and i just shook my head. He smiled at me and i smiled back. I screamed for Hamirul though i knew he couldn't hear me. Jannah told me not to scream because we were up there secretly. But i couldn't help it. I got so hyper and high when i saw baby playing the drums and somehow, it felt like i was falling for him all over again. I told my girls that baby's band will definitely win. And true enough, they did :D I screamed again for Hamirul but i was in the hall this time round. Special thanks to the secondary two dancers especially Nadzirah and Fadilah. Especially Fadilah. This small little cutie ran up on stage to pass Hamirul the cookies i got for him.

Hamirul started looking around, searching for me in the audience. He finally found me and smiled. I smiled back. He pointed to the cookies and i nodded my head. I never stopped smiling. He smiled widely back, mouthed the words "Thank You" and gave me a thumbs up. I winked at him and smiled. Somehow, i felt like i was on top of the world just now. Nothing could describe how happy i was just now. To see Hamirul smiling so widely, to see Hamirul playing the drums, to see Hamirul having fun with his friends and being all hyper, to see Hamirul smile at me. Nothing could beat that.

Fadilah and Nadzirah came running to me and they hugged me. I hugged them back, thanked them and told them that i love them. I left the hall with Jannah, thanked her and told her that i love her as well. I've never been more sincere. Everyone asked me why i wasn't going back with Hamirul. Easy. I wanted him to enjoy and celebrate this special moment with his friends. Friends come first. I texted baby after that saying, "Enjoy this special moment my dear. Have a fun time with your friends. I love you, you know that right?" He called me afterwards and asked me where i was and thanked me for the cookies. He asked me if i was free at night and i said yes :D Hearing his voice totally sums up what an awesome afternoon i had. I couldn't stop smiling and Jannah said i look stupid smiling non stop. Heh. Atikah is happy for me right now. I love her! Oh, congratulations to everyone who participated just now (:

My darling bestfriend Annisa took videos of Hamirul and his band. Thank you! Anyway, i took a picture of baby with his drums. Of course, it isn't clear since i was one story above. This is all i've got of him. Quite sad right? But better than nothing. It's just a picture anyway. I have the real Hamirul all to myself. Hehe. Here's the picture,

I have awesome girlfriends. I have an awesome boyfriend. They truly make me happy. I love them. Nothing can beat them, nothing. And to Hamirul, I'm really proud of you sayang! I love you! A million kisses and hugs just for you^^

Best Girlfs,

2009-07-29T20:32:00.004+08:00

Favourite/best of the bestest girlfriends. ENERGY BOOSTERS!

Today was great. Thanks to the three amazing girlfriends of mine above^^

I couldn't complete my Food and Nutrition Part B planning today. Tsk. Spent Mother Tongue class talking with Hawa and Atikah. I'm always hyper for that one hour. We were talking about (insert word). I kept telling Yazid all sorts of animals (say ah). Irsyad made me laugh alot too, with our "Are you thinking what i'm thinking?" Obviously, we were both thinking the same thing, so we laughed like mad.

Annisa, Hawa, Atikah and me went to Lot One around 3plus. First few minutes with them and it's already very kecoh. The four of us split up. Annisa and Atikah went to print Annisa's photos for Art while me and Hawa went to Famous Amos because i wanted to get cookies for baby. Annisa and Atikah met us at Famous Amos and again, kecoh-ness over which gift boxes to get for baby. Eventually, i decided on a red gift box. But again, kecoh-ness. Us four girls were deciding which cookies to get for Hamirul. Hahaha, after more than ten minutes there, i finally paid the cashierwoman and we all got moving. Thank you to my girls for helping me decide anyway. We split up again, this time me and Annisa, Hawa and Atikah. Annisa and me went to collect her pictures while Hawa and Atikah went to LJS to buy food. We all met up once again and went to MCD to buy more food. Walked to CCK park and sat at the playground. There were four Korean girls there. We all thought they were Japanese at first but i could understand what they were saying. So, i talked to them in Korean and they responded. I asked them if they knew MC Mong (my husband hehe) and they said yes. But they said MC Mong's ugly. Wah, heart pain. Atikah, Annisa and Hawa laughed at me =.='

We took loads of pictures and helped Atikah and Hawa pose for the camera since they need a certain kind of theme for their Art. Baby texted me asking where i was, who i was with. I told him where i was and he asked why i was there. Hahaha, he being protective as always. I told him i got him something and he keeps guessing what i got for him. I'm not gonna tell him though. Because it's a surprise. Baby and his friends are performing tomorrow. I showed Atikah, Annisa and Hawa how i'm going to show my support and root for him. I was my hyper self of course. They laughed at me and rolled their eyes AGAIN. Okay, i admit. Anyone else who listened to our conversation about how i'm going to show my support for Hamirul will definitely think i'm crazy. Heh. I don't care anyway.

I'm really tired today. My energy boosters made me laugh and smile so much that my mouth hurts from all that smiling. I'm going to sleep early today since i'm so worn out right now. You know, Hamirul makes me the happiest but i guess i'm somewhat wrong. Because Annisa, Hawa and Atikah also makes me the happiest i've ever been. They're the best best best.

Pictures of today and pictures of post Malay Olevels Listening Comprehension,
http://www.flickr.com/photos/39605483@N06/

I LOVE ANNISA, HAWA, ATIKAH AND HAMIRUL^^

2009-07-28T21:06:00.002+08:00

Headache. It's a cold night again. Sweater on, socks on. Baby, stop playing takraw and meet me nowww. I want to sleep in your arms and curl up to you nowww.

I'm just kidding. Have fun playing takraw, sayang.
Don't come home too late or i'll lock you out. I love you (:

Way up high

2009-07-28T18:41:00.005+08:00

My energy boosters today, my energy boosters everyday :D

Today's a great day.

I have no idea why but i was smiling widely early in the morning. Something really rare. Baby texted me when i was having my Literature class, saying he misses me^^ Me and baby have PE class at the same time so PE was best best best. I got to see his sexy legs again (cheeky smile). Had my usual fun time talking to Hawa and Atikah. I like accounts class because Mr Lim is a fun teacher and there were only six people today. Like a study group which i liked. Baby wished me good luck for my accounts test. Accounts test was okay i guess? Went home with Annisa and she said that i'm really hyper today because of my (insert word). She said it's my energy booster for today. The moment she saw (insert word) in the morning, she simply said, "Eh dah lama tak nampak!" HAHA. Hawa's reaction when she saw (insert word) was different though. She said, "Eh siak jer! So daring seh kau!" Hahaha. More laughs.

I'm supposed to be meeting baby right now because that manje boyfriend of mine has yet to return the library book he borrowed using my card. But we're both really tired so we decided not to. So much for me squelling to my girlfriends, "I'm going dating today! Weehooo!" HAHA =.=' My girlfriends know how hyper i get when i say those words and they all have the same reaction everytime. They're forever rolling their eyes at me. Chet. But i adore them. Baby's texting me now and nagging at me to eat. I will, i will, don't worry (:

I LOVE ANNISA, HAWA, ATIKAH AND HAMIRUL.

No more promises

2009-07-27T21:36:00.002+08:00

Wake up and open your eyes wide. If you still refuse, i'll see you in my dreams.

Webcam pictures of me and big sister,
http://www.flickr.com/photos/39605483@N06/

What really is love?

2009-07-26T20:15:00.004+08:00

Break ups just darn hurt. Relationships are never easy. It's either you give your all or nothing. In a relationship, you can't just depend on love. Further into a relationship, it all boils down to how much the two are able to compromise and understand one another. Because face it, love tends to fade. All the fights and arguments can get into one's head. People tend to remember the mistakes and the bad times rather than the good times. It's sad to see how even the strongest of people fall hard during a break up. Thankfully, time helps. With time, things get a lot less painful. So, Rahimah my dear, i hope you'll be strong. Take your time to move on, don't force yourself. Don't suffer alone, you know i'm just a text or call away. You have me, you have Lydia. Always remember that. He doesn't deserve a hottie like you and i know you're smart enough to know that he certainly doesn't deserve you. Most importantly, be happy and healthy. Please. I love you my dear (:

I'm going to text baby now and tell him how much i appreciate him and miss him like crazy. I'm still very much in love with my manje boyfriend who does the best imitations of me^^

Time means realisation,

2009-07-25T22:31:00.004+08:00

I've been spending the last hour or so reading my old blogs. Reading my old posts made me remember my past. I smiled reading my posts. But they'll always be my past. That's all. Anyway, i stumbled upon this while reading one of my old blog. Someone once asked me last year what i want in a guy. And i mentioned these..

1)I'll love a guy who is able to make me feel like i'm on top of the world.

2)I'll love a guy who leaves me lying on the floor, all smiles and jubilation tearing my heart rapidly.

3)I'll love a guy who makes me feel like a child craving for my favourite ice cream.

4) I'll love a guy who is able to turn my anti-love self into a cheesy, lovesick girl.

5) I'll love a guy who loves me no matter how ugly i look like in the morning.

6) I'll love a guy who loves me no matter how much i talk in my sleep.

7) I'll love a guy who loves me though i fart and burp shamelessly.

8) I'll love a guy who doesn't need to say he loves me yet i know he really does.

9) I'll love a guy who knows commitment, loyalty, respect and faithfulness.

10) I'll love a guy who knows what he wants in love and life.

11) I'll love a guy who loves Liverpool Football Club.

12) I'll love a guy who loves my flaws more.

13) I'll love a guy who watches 2 Days 1 Night with me.

14) I'll love a guy who fetches me from school, smiling, holding an umbrella, when it starts raining heavily.

15) I'll love a guy who smiles at my presence even though i'm an hour late.

16) I'll love a guy who understands me more than myself.

17) I'll love a guy who sits down, talks things out properly, sorts matters in a mature way when there're misunderstandings.

18) I'll love a guy who makes me laugh till i cry.

19) I'll love a guy who does puzzles with me.

20) I'll love a guy who laughs with me, cries with me, smiles with me and loves with me.

21) I'll love a guy who gives me pain and then the antidote.

22) I'll love a guy who thinks i'm immature yet loves me more than i do.

23) I'll love a guy who has a huge ego but a huge-r heart.

24) I'll love a guy who makes Aisyah Syaahindah be Aisyah Syaahindah.

Truthfully speaking, Hamirul has most of these. Maybe that's why i'm the happiest i've ever been when i'm with him. We texted each other till 2am and that big baby of mine fell asleep. Math test was energy consuming la. I had a headache after the paper. Haha. I went to BPP with Cassandra and studied. I finally touched my Physics textbook after many months and read up till chapter six. You have no idea how proud i am of myself. Haha. I didn't know Physics was interesting. Hopefully, i can manage at least a pass for the upcoming test. Took a bus to Woodlands and spent a great time with my maternal family. Most probably, i'll go on a shopping spree again tomorrow. Mama called me when i was studying.

Mama: Your Volcom bag that Cik Mas likes, where did you get it?
Me: Wisma
Mama: Want to go there tomorrow?
Me: With who? Cik Mas, Biah all?
Mama: Yeah
Me: But i have tuition tomorrow. How?
Mama: Never mind la, i call your teacher and postpone it to some other day. You want?
Me: If like that, of course i want.

This happens if you have a mother who absolutely loves shopping^^

Anyway, i think this video is absolutely adorable. A must watch!

I'm numb and emotion-less.

Good Friday!

2009-07-24T16:34:00.006+08:00

I love today.

I'm surprised at my own self for actually enjoying school today. Everyday, i dread coming to school but school was really fun today. I actually was really into all my lessons today. Instead of sleeping or doing my puzzle book during reading period, i read CID again. Went to lab for Physics class and i was fuming at first. I didn't know what in the world to do with the experiment. Everyone else started on theirs. Zaidi helped me eventually. Haha, thank you di! For the first time ever, i thought Physics was OK. I smiled alot to myself because i managed to complete the experiment successfully. Mr Lim BT even praised me. A first. HAHA.

Food and Nutrition class was quite fun. I managed to complete my planning, so i'm happy. Accounts class is always fun because it's Mr Lim SH. Nothing personal against Mrs Heng though, i love her English lessons. Haha. So, we did Ratio Analysis today and it's my favourite topic in Accounts (huge smile). With only nine students in our Accounts class, classes are always laid-back. Irsyad sat beside me and when his arm hit mine, his bone cracked. I laughed loudly. Classmates and Mr Lim thought i was crazy. I don't know why but whenever i hear the sound of bones cracking, i laugh. It just sounds really funny to me. I also laughed because, err, too personal to say it here.

After Accounts, i used the form teacher contact time thingy to prepare my labels for my Olevels Part B execution. Cassandra was being a sweetheart by helping me cut the labels out. Went to the kitchen when it was nearing 1pm. Got everything ready. Anyone can easily spot me in the kitchen since i was wearing my striking lime green apron. Haha. I felt like a maid with the scarf thingy and i started speaking like one to amuse myself and girlfriends. I kept running around the kitchen because the sockets wouldn't work so i had to go Nonoi's table to whip my egg whites. Oh, i did meringues! I kept pacing to and fro since i was using four ovens to do my execution while my friends were simply using the stoves. A big thank you to Jannah, Nonoi and Syaza for helping me just now. Also, i couldn't have managed to complete my execution successfully without the help of Mrs Ng. So, EXECUTION DONE! Weeehhoooo (: Anyway, pictures.

160 degrees celsius
120 degrees celsius
200 degrees celsius
240 degrees celsius. That's why it's like this. Mrs Ng says it looks like shit. Hahaha. It was so hard la, like rock. HAHA.
Went home with Jannah and went crazy with her in the train. I really (x100) adore her. We're texting each other right now and the crazy-ness has yet to stop. Haha. I'm in a really good mood today that's why i kept smiling and laughing. I like :D I'm even in the mood to study. I really need to revise Accounts, Physics and Math.

If my own teacher can see how much (insert word) is affecting me, why can't you? I've said it once and i'm going to say it again, IF IT DOESN'T KILL YOU, IT ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER. And IGNORANCE IS BLISS (:

Someone's mum just commented on me, saying i'm lawa. Hahaha =.='

2009-07-24T05:10:00.003+08:00

Even if ignorance is bliss, patience is a virtue. I need to constantly remind myself not to blow up. We're both just all words. I'm getting impatient but i'm not going to lose my cool. I'm going to be strong. I'm not going to give up. I'm not, do you understand. So please. Please. PLEASE.

IGNORANCE IS BLISS,

2009-07-23T20:50:00.007+08:00

I'll love (with a capital L) whoever that gets me this. Plus the gloves (red please) =.=' Everyone knows i like to use my fists when i'm really frustrated. I swear i'm really in need of a punching bag. Who's the one being so nonsensical? Who's the one dragging this rubbish? I wish you'd wake up. I wish you'd stop making things so difficult and complicated. I don't like you. I want to hit you. I want to hit you. I really want to hit you. A tired Aisyah Syaahindah is a cranky, grumpy and sensitive Aisyah Syaahindah.

You asked for it, so here i am giving it to you.
(plus the proud and arrogant face)

2009-07-21T18:23:00.003+08:00

Dead and speechless.

Remember, i didn't betray you. You did.

Monday blues,

2009-07-20T20:24:00.003+08:00

I better start saving if i'm going to get (insert word) for baby.

Today was entirely spent with girlfriends. No, baby and i didn't fight. I'm fasting. Haha. My morning was spent with Annisa. I saw that girl and glared right at her as we walked past each other. Baby's admirer. Chet. Had a headache in class. In other words, grumpy and masam Aisyah. Baby texted me to make sure i'm okay. My masam-ness went away all thanks to my favourite Hawa. She's my energy booster. Hahaha (inside joke). We laughed so much and my stomach ached again. I adore Hawa. Social Studies test was sickening. I was falling asleep throughout and didn't manage to complete it. I really wasn't in the best of moods. I'm really tired. I've been really sensitive for the past three days. After this, i'm going to get some shut-eye.

On a brighter note, i think my boyfriend looks really adorable after getting a haircut. Makes me wanna hug him tightly and bite him again ^^

I want Hamirul now

2009-07-19T19:15:00.003+08:00

My morning till late afternoon was spent at Changi beach with my paternal family. It was nice being around people whom i love. But i was bored. I missed baby. I didn't stay at the beach for long because i need to get back to start revising on my Social Studies since ECTs starts tomorrow. I was supposed to meet baby up to study together but i've not been feeling really well since yesterday. I vomited when i got home and baby insisted that i should rest. Usually, i'd never listen and still meet him up. But i'm just so worn out, so lethargic and weak to move about and walk alot. So, here i am at home, like a zombie. I wish baby was with me now though. When i'm sick especially, i always want to be in his arms and smell his shoulders. I'm gonna take a short nap afterwards and study Social Studies and Chemistry.

I know baby and me took a big risk to get into a relationship in this crucial year where we're both taking our Os. Especially if things go wrong (touchwood). BUT WE DID NOT MAKE A BIG MISTAKE TO GET INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER. Thinking again, it'll be easier for us because we'll have each other's support and be there for one another. He can help me in my weak areas like Math and Physics and i can help him in English. Seriously, Os is scary shit. Looking at baby studying hard and being so motivated makes me want to study hard as well. I better buck up on my Physics, Accounts and Math.

And i have stalkers here. Well, i've mentioned this before, haven't i? Honestly, i really don't care that you people bother so much about my life and my relationship with Hamirul. Enjoy reading this blog everyday. Just don't go fuming when you read and stumble upon something here that upsets you. And to whoever it may concern, Hamirul and i are really happy together (:

OH! And Annisa won. Remember yesterday's post? About that picture? Why i love that picture? And of course, Annisa won. Who else? Don't worry, i mean my words. I'm going to blanja her really soon.

I don't know why but i really miss baby today. Maybe that's why i'm not in the best of moods? Or maybe it's just my typical moodswings again? My head's spinning again and it feels so heavy. Sayang, i need you nowwww. On a lighter note, good luck to everyone for ECTs.

HH

2009-07-19T00:53:00.002+08:00

Aisyah: When you wake up every morning, what do you think of?
Hamirul: You! Haha
Aisyah: Really?
Hamirul: Yeah. Cannot ah?
Aisyah: Can! I think about you too, you know. Whee (:

So corny la Esa. Who cares. We're simply in love :D

LONG POST

2009-07-18T23:19:00.010+08:00

I LOVE TODAY.

Early in the morning, i went out to meet my favourite girls Hawa and Atikah. We all wore our Secondary two class jerseys. We ate breakfast at GSC Banquet. After that, we takeaway food from there and bought 15 sugar donuts and slacked near my place. We talked about so many things and laughed uncontrollably. Just the three of us and we're like really loud. These girls know me the best and we always have a fun time together. I love them insanely. So, here are the pictures.

I LOVE BIM. LOVE, BO (:

She's the one who gave me my beloved nickname, ESA. ESA LOVES HAWA (:

We were dancing to the song Sugar =.='

If you're one of my close girlfriends, you would know why i love this picture though it's really blurry. Think long and hard (i'm thinking about Seth now =.='). Anyway, i'm going to blanja whichever girlfriend who gets this answer right! Look at this picture properly alright :D

BEST OF THE BESTEST

Okay, moving on. After that, Hawa went off (jeng jeng jeng!). Heh. You know i'll always do that right my dear! Atik and me went to BPP because i wanted to buy a nail shiner. After that, i sent her home and walked to Petir Lrt to meet baby up. I thought i saw twins, nah, it's just baby and Khairi. Funny how those two really look alike. HAHA. Baby and me slacked and i did his nails. He only allowed me to do three fingers of his right hand because he said it's too girly. Hahaha. So right now, only three of his fingers are shiny. I'm gonna do the rest the next time i see him! Heh. He kissed me goodbye and i hurried home because i promised Nasrul (cousin, no, big brother) that i'll watch his band perform at NUS. Took a cab there and everyone was there. Biah, Kak Fizah, her boyfriend, Walter, Cik Mas. Guess who else were there? Faisal, Zul, Syahid, basically, loads of St Pats guys. Ooooo. Haha. Zul didn't see me at first, but smiled widely and gave me a certain look. I simply smiled back at him. I was proud of Nasrul as i watched him perform. Charles's voice was just to die for. I was like cair-ing there and then. HAHA. Somehow, i thought of baby when i saw them perform. I can't wait to wactch his Battle of the Bands performance. Anyway, i drew this and posted on this board during that event. Showing my support for Nasrul's band.

After the performance, all of us went to Adam Road to eat. Really kecoh. I like to play around with the leftover food so i mixed pepper, soy sauce, mee soto soup, and tissue paper with the rojak sauce. My little brother, as always, was being a smart aleck and he wanted to eat the tissue paper, thinking it was chicken because i told him so and dared him to. HAHA. Me and Biah screamed when the tissue paper was inches away from his tongue and everyone there looked at us. We laughed and i felt relieved. I also wondered how in the world my little brother was going to chew and swallow the tissue paper. Hahaha. After eating, we all headed home. And everyone knows how clumsy i am right? I hurt my right foot because i accidentally stepped on a sharp stone while hailing a cab. How that happened, i don't know but i'm having difficulty walking. I'm limping because it really hurts. I fell asleep as soon as i reached home and bathed. Slept for a good three hours and i didn't realise baby's messages. I woke up because i felt my phone's vibration and read the message. It simply said, "B, rabak. Asal tak reply?" Hahah, that guy ahhh.

I'm going to the beach again with my paternal family tomorrow. Two days straight with them. Best! Oh. Before i forget, did i tell you guys how much i love my bestfriend Annisa? She told me that she's really happy for me and i asked her why. She said, because you're really happy now. Aww, just five words from her and i'm on cloud nine. I don't have to tell you how much i love you because you already know how much i love and adore you right! But anyway, here i am telling you that i love you and feel like giving you a big hug right now :D

And to end off this long post, i just want to say that i'm insanely, madly, crazily in love with Hamirul Hakim (:

Tired Friday,

2009-07-17T20:47:00.008+08:00

Boredom during Chemistry class. Baby saw this and smiled. He said, "The date nice ah! See lah who choose the date!" (plus the irritating face) =.='

Baby made my morning a fine one. Our (Jannah and me) creamed cake didn't turn out the way we wanted it to. I love Jannah because she waited for me while i was in the Cyber lab with my babe Syafiqah, printing our courseworks. Went back home after that, only to receive a text from baby. He wanted his thumbdrive. I was like huh? Miscommunication. So, i bathed and went back to school to pass his thumbdrive. He apologised but i wasn't mad or anything though. In fact, i was happy because i spent around half an hour with him before he went into the school gate to resume his DNT. In that half an hour, we both got on each other nerves. We're both really short tempered anyway. But i can't stay mad at him for long. He's too adorable. Kissed him goodbye and walked home.

Met baby later around 5plus at Fajar Mac. Walked back to his place and he bathed, changed and packed his things for his tuition. I was simply folding more paper cranes. I called Annisa to ask her how her oral went and as usual, baby and Annisa were at it again, kacau-ing one another. HAHA. They're both so adorable. Those two are becoming good friends (lol) though i think they'll argue alot. Hahaha. My bestfriend, my boyfriend. No matter what, Annisa still comes first (: Sorry sayang. Hahaha. But you do know that i love you very very much right? Went to Fajar Mac after that because he wanted to eat. Later on, i sent the big baby to his tuition place and took a taxi home because i was exhausted.

Baby irritated the hell out of me today so i bit him on his arm.
You can't really see my teeth marks in this picture but i got a really nice maki from baby for biting his arm. His tuition is gonna end really soon. I'm going to sleep after this. I'm too tired. Baby will call later and he'll get to hear my bacin voice again. I love you, you jendol!

I did SO much walking today. Lagi lagi, to and fro laaaaa. Haha, it's okay. Anything for my beloved boyfriend. On a happier note, i'm excited about tomorrow! Favourite girls outing :D

Good morning

2009-07-17T06:39:00.004+08:00

I feel like slamming my phone really hard. I'm in need of a new phone soon!

I've got my eyes on this phone ^^

I miss my bacin boy so much. Haiya. We're going to school together anyway. Wheee. And i'm going to give him chocolates again. Baby smells extremely good early in the morning. I'm going to get my favourite morning kiss. Oooo. Even in early mornings, he manages to make me dizzy. Heh. I love you, i love you, i love you Hamirul and i love your jendol too :D

I'm gonna ask baby to give me an extra kiss since i've managed to complete my coursework ^^ FINALLY, Aisyah Syaahindah!

Jealousy kills,

2009-07-16T19:31:00.004+08:00

Because they make me out of this world happy (:

I went to school with Annisa today and she said the picture of me and baby together is really sweet (hehe). Anyway, a big thank you to Annisa's mum for making breakfast for me. Sayaaaangg cik! ^^ Annisa said my eyebags were especially huge today. I only slept for an hour, that's why. My eyebags stood out more because there were dark rings under my eyes. Baby agreed that my eyebags were AMAZING today. The last ten minutes or so of recess was spent with my favourite Hawa and we talked, laughed and went crazy. Hawa dared me to jump over a flight of stairs and i did jump successfully. On the other hand, my handphone jumped too and it flew out from my pocket and came crashing down on the hard cement. HEART PAIN. I looked at my handphone and dang, countless of scratches. And i just got my handphone at the beginning of this year =.=' Baby said me and Hawa were crazy to be playing around like that and tsk-ed me when he saw the many scratches on my handphone. HAHA. We're not crazy, we just know how to have fun (:

Malay class was chit chat session with my favourite girls Hawa and Atikah. We're getting excited over something. I told baby about it and i'm still waiting for his conformation. Though i was quite in a good mood today, i kept falling asleep. And a particular someone pissed the hell out of me. Well, i wasn't the only one that was pissed off with her. Sometimes, i wish she really wakes up and realise that we do have feelings and that the world does NOT revolves only around her.

Social studies remedial ended earlier than expected and baby went off early as well. So we decided to meet up. A whole last minute thing again. Went to GSC and studied at KFC. While baby was engrossed with his Math, i folded a tissue paper into a crane. Somehow, it did become a crane. I was happy. And baby thought i was childish. Chet. I got jealous over something and sulked. But he made me feel a whole lot better afterwards. I kept teasing him about his jendol. Who cares anyway? I love his jendol as much as i love him. Haha. Baby's hair is really long now. So i tied it up and pinned his long fringe. I swear he looks SO funny! I took a picture of him in his new hairstyle specially done by his beloved girlfriend. HAHA. But he deleted it because it's just plain darn funny. I laughed so hard that i accidentally got saliva all over his face. Grrr, my big baby! I LOVE YOU :D

Go to sleep Aisyah!

2009-07-16T04:24:00.004+08:00

It's 4.24am right now and i'm still wide awake. If baby knows i'm still not sleeping at this hour, i'm sure i'll get quite an earful from him. Instead of doing my coursework, i ended up watching my Korean show on my laptop and changing my blogskin. My blog looks so WHITE now. Hahaha. It IS white =.=' Baby's prepaid is left with two cents so that means he can't text/call me. He called me using his mother's handphone at 1am because he wanted some quality on-the-phone talk time with me before he goes to sleep. And he ended the phone conversation with saying I Love You. Heh, he's such a darling. I'm going to school with Annisa today. Finally. I miss her very much.

Aisyah Syaahindah needs to remind herself to study study study.

I guess the only thing that'll make me want to sleep right now is having baby around so i can sleep peacefully in his arms again.

Deep eyes,

2009-07-15T20:23:00.005+08:00

I wasted my time going to school today though i had fun playing Uno with my classmates. Hawa and me laughed uncontrollably about "sleeping peacefully" during Malay class. Hawa and Atik saw the picture of baby and me together and gave me their cheeky smiles. I love them. I waited for baby to finish his class. It was all a last minute thing. We weren't even suppose to meet up. I ended up teaching this manje boyf of mine Math. He thought i was crazy and too hyper while teaching him a probability question. But he understood eventually. He made me really happy today. He smells super ultra good today. But i think baby is so =.=' when he imitates me. He's always imitating me. Just wait and see what i'll do to you. You're always so manje and wanting my attention. You wait, you ass. Just wait. Heh heh. Baby got jealous when a chinese guy flirted with me and kept winking and smiling at me. HAHA. It was so funny really. He told me not to laugh and smile so much when other guys are around. There he goes again with his jealousy. Heh. I am so not motivated to study. Ugh. But baby's drilling me to study and nags like there's no tomorrow. HAHA. I love love love you, my dear!

Today's a Wednesday. My Mongieeeee :D

Hamirul Hakim,

2009-07-15T01:30:00.010+08:00

It's 1.32am right now and i'm still awake. It's normal for me to be up this late anyway. But i'm stuck doing my coursework which is due on Wednesday. Which is today, just in another nine more hours. I'm such a procrastinator and baby has been nagging profusely at me to get it done. I'm taking a break from my coursework right now. But baby's already asleep. Dang.

Sorry for the ultra short post just now. So now, i'm blogging for what happened around 6 plus in the afternoon. Something happened just now when i was with baby and i guess i got emotional(?). No, we didn't fight. Nothing bad happened. In fact, what happened just now was somewhat beautiful though tears were involved. Out of all the days i've been with him, i'll remember this day most. I don't know how to describe today, really. Or should i say today was the cry-your-eyes-out day? But today hit me real hard. Today woke me up and i'm at a loss for words. I should have said something instead of totally silencing myself just now. But words were far from easy. All i could do was stare right back at baby with teary eyes.

To baby,
Hey love. Thank you for today. Thank you for every day spent. Thank you for your laughter and smile. Thank you for your tears. Thank you for your love. Thank you for everything. Today marks a really important day in this relationship. Today, i saw you in a totally different light and it both hurt and made me be grateful and thankful that you're around. We've been through difficult times before and look at us now. We're out of this world happy. You can't get rid of me that easily, you know? So please stop worrying. We'll be happy. We already are. I love your long eyelashes. I love how you always know what to do to irritate the hell out of me. I love your cute butt. I love how your eyes look right before they close when i'm going to kiss you. I love your sexy legs. I love how you smell like the fresh morning. I love your pretty eyes. I love your jendol. I love the way you get all jealous and sulk. I love the way you talk. I love your hugs and kisses. I love the way you argue with me over who loves who more. But do you know what i love most? YOU. Yes, you. I'll smile for you, i'll laugh for you, i'll cry just for you. You're my favourite bacin ever. I LOVE YOU. **Giving you a million kisses.

P.S. I'm sorry your shirt got all wet from my tears. Oh sayang, stop watching me when i sleep. If you lie to me again, i'll really hit you hard this time round. And i still love you more, you ass.

My everything,

2009-07-14T19:10:00.002+08:00

Three words: GEMBENG AISYAH SYAAHINDAH

It's you. It'll always be you. You're everything. I love you.

Forever,

2009-07-13T21:08:00.005+08:00

I'M INSANELY IN LOVE WITH HAMIRUL HAKIM.
Psstt, i love our picture together (cheeky smile)

I need to complete my coursework by TOMORROW. Wish me luck!

Stupid handphone

2009-07-12T22:27:00.005+08:00

I'm freaking pissed off with my phone right now. It's not receiving any messages. I want to F slam it. #@%*%$@*$*#

I had fun today though i'm really pooped out right now. I woke up late today since i only slept at 4am watching movies with my paternal cousins. Went to BPP with them in the afternoon and played games in the arcade. Apparently, baby's sister saw me there. I didn't though. Slept around 4pm till 6pm. Baby texted me and we decided to meet up. I smiled to myself the moment i saw baby's back view. He turned and i smiled even more. He looks yummy in black. Ooooo. Hahaha. Slacked. After that, we went grocery shopping. Haha, yes, grocery shopping. Mama asked to buy cat food, sweet drinks, bread and ice cream. I don't know why but we get stares from strangers during just now's grocery shopping.

Baby was being un-glamorous just now because he farted again. And when he burped, i could smell durian. HAHA. Thankfully, i'm okay with durian. Hahaha. But look who's talking. I met baby and was absolutely selekeh. Because i met baby after i woke up from my sleep (i did wash up before meeting him by the way haha). My eyes were bengkak. And i didn't comb my hair. HAHA. **rolling eyes

Baby's texting me now and i wish he's with me right now. I want to smell his shoulders and fall asleep in his arms (hehe).

Tired

2009-07-11T23:40:00.004+08:00

To my darling sweetheart, a big sorry that i couldn't be there for you just now. I hope you feel much better now. Remember the five Hs? Yeah. I only want to see your adorable smile and hear your contagious laughter. Turn that frown into a smile alright? I love you my dear! SMILE :D

I'm back from shopping and my legs hurt. I'm really tired but a huge smile is visible on my face. Nasrul, Walter and little brother tagged along in the end. Nasrul, Walter, Cik Mas and me spent hours in the Levis store and left the place definitely not empty handed. Cik Mas and me went crazy in the fitting room, squelling like little girls. I hugged and thanked her for buying me whatever i wanted. We're going shopping again next weekend! (huge huge smile) Pity i only have less than a month left to spend time with her before she goes back to Germany.

Baby kept wondering why i have chinese eyes, why they're sepet =.=' He says he doesn't want our children to inherit my eyes, especially my short eyelashes. HAHAHA.

Okay, i got to go now. Walter wants to use my laptop. Take care everyone!

Shopping

2009-07-11T17:11:00.002+08:00

Don't be so moody anymore, my dear. Take your time, and when you feel the time is right, then open up to me. I may not be the perfect girlfriend. I may lack in many things. Sometimes, i struggle to say the right words to you to make you feel better. But i hope a hug from me to you does the trick. I know how much you really love me but i hope you do know how much i really do love you too. More than anything, i also hope i will always deserve you. I love you with all my heart, sayang.

GIRLS' DAY OUT! SHOPPING! WEEEHHOOO. Baby made me really happy just now. And soon, I'm gonna be an even happy girl :D

A long post!

2009-07-10T22:30:00.006+08:00

I love my cats, i really do. But when their fur gets all over my clothes, especially my black clothes, i get so so mad that i glare at them and make weird sounds with my throat to scare them =.=' Hahaha.

I reached home after 10.30pm last night. Went out with baby to study. He did his English comprehension while i did my Math. Eventually, we switched and i did his English for him while he did my Math. Last night was (:

Walked to school with baby today. Usually, i'd take ten minutes to reach his place. But since i went out from my house late today, i walked as fast as i could and reached his place in five minutes. Haha. Baby said i was crazy. Met baby's sister under the block. She salam-ed me and said hello. I feel so small around her. She's taller and bigger than me. Haha. And looks much more mature compared to me. Hahaha. She kept giving me this cheeky smile and i couldn't help but laugh. I asked her where her brother was and she said he was still upstairs. Baby came down a few minutes later. I got my favourite morning kiss (wheee). I kept panting because i was so tired from all that walking and baby used my file to fan me.

School was okay, nothing unusual happened i guess. Basically had fun with my girls, with Jannah! Met Annisa after school and i felt like hugging her. I miss her. We walked to GSC and ate at Banquet. We had so many stories to tell one another. Haha. I love this pabo of mine. We both went to my place after that and watched Dreamgirls on HBO. And i'm slowly helping Annisa get rid her fear of cats. She touched Cudy just now. Just three times. Small, baby steps. Haha. But she made sure i was beside her and her other hand was holding onto me. She sat on my new bed and agreed with me that it's super springy. We both were like little kiddos playing with my bed =.=' Sent her home after that and walked back to school to fetch my beloved boyfriend (haha) from his Chemistry make up session. I ended up waiting for twenty minutes for him. Eventually, i fell asleep waiting for him. Baby apologised after that and i got my favourite kiss again (wheee). Walked to GSC (yes again! haha) and ate at KFC. Well, only baby ate since i already ate with Annisa.

Baby was his irritating self again. I got so annoyed by him but he also made me laugh like mad. I laughed so much that i tripped and fell. I'm lucky he was there to catch me. Hahaha. Baby got tired and fell asleep while leaning against me. He looks like a baby when he's asleep. A big baby. Who whines and complains alot. Hahaha. We parted ways because he had tuition and i was just plain tired. I fell asleep straightaway when i got back home. I woke up at 9.30pm to see baby's paranoid messages. HAHA. He called just now and he's playing takraw now. Going to school with baby tomorrow for the follow up session. Which means i am not going for Math tomorrow. I don't think i can wake up that early on a Saturday. We're gonna wear matching clothes tomorrow =.=' HAHA.

Cik Mas and Walter are over at my place now. Gave up my bed for Walter. So i'll be sleeping on the sofa in the living room for the next few days. Which also means that i'll be sleeping with my two darling cats. It's not a problem for me at all since i'm always sleeping in the living room by myself. My eyebags are huge, well they are already huge, so they're huge-r now. I'm sleepy. But i'll sleep late today to accompany my darling boyfriend. And also to catch up with Cik Mas. She's my favourite aunt and seeing her once a year is a big arghhh. She wants me to go to Germany after my Os. See first, see first.

I'm very much in love with super paranoid Hamirul Hakim. Haha. Baby, i can't believe you're way more paranoid than i am! Heh heh^^

Hmmburger!

2009-07-09T19:35:00.003+08:00

Hawa and Atikah made me laugh like crazy today in Malay class. We laughed till we cried and i ended up on the floor, cracking up till my stomach ached. I really love my favourite girls. I smiled alot thanks to Jannah today. Thank you darling. Seth(bestfriend) was adorable today. He kept winking and giving me his silly facial expressions. I miss him. Folded paper cranes. Met baby after school. Hey baby, i love you alot. Thank you for your presence.

This post seems so abrupt because baby's on the way to my place right now. He's so cepat today. He's gonna give me a big hug later. Weeeehhooooo :D

Three Bs

2009-07-08T20:28:00.004+08:00

Just ended my phone conversation with baby.

Fetched baby under his block in the morning and walked to school together. Had a migraine and slept throughout Physics and during recess too. I've not been eating well these days and since i didn't eat during recess, suffered gastric pains. Gastric pains are nothing new to me but today the pain was unbearable. Cassandra texted Terence to buy me food. So, a big thank you to Terence, Cassandra and Sebastian. Baby's sister kept smiling at me whenever we bump into each other. Honestly, i feel weird. Hahaha. Did Chemistry practical today. On anions. The boiling solution spilled on my middle finger and i swore loudly. Haha. Yes, i know, i know, i'm clumsy. Texted baby wishing him good luck for his Os Malay oral.

Spent my after school hours with baby again. I swear he's such an irritant. Haha. And again, he was super un-glamorous and farted in the most uncivilised manner. HAHAHA. I laughed like mad and gave him that look. I burped loudly when i was with him just now and he said i was disgusting. How ironic. Hahaha. Baby's playing takraw near my block right now. I am really sleepy, actually, i've been sleeping early for the past few days. Baby gets irritated when i fall asleep on him. And for the past five days, i've been falling asleep on him. Heh. Sorry. Today's a Wednesday. My MONGIEEEE :D Love love love!

"OMG OMG SHE'S ONLINE"
To this person, i don't know how to thank you honestly. You've been there all these while. You listen to all my crap, listen to my cries, advice me and cheer me up with your silly jokes. One of the best friends and the most unique friend i've ever had. Cheers to our friendship. Thanks for everything. Be happy, healthy, hyper and high always! P.S. I'll be there for you whenever you need me, you do know that, don't you?

Sebastian's newest 16th

2009-07-07T22:34:00.004+08:00

Hello.

Walked to school with baby. Annisa said we looked very happy (huge smile). We ARE happy. Haha. Spent Malay class with my favourite girlfriend, Hawa. We talked about anything that came into our minds. And we're planning something for Atik (jeng jeng jeng! heh). I love Hawa and Atikah :D Spent my recess with baby and Annisa. Annisa told me something about that person. Disgusting. And that person is very shiok sendiri, really. So big headed. Tsk. My eyes really hurt maaaannnn. Spent my lunch with baby. Spent my after school hours with baby. Went back home, bathed, changed and went out to meet Cassandra sweetheart. We planned a last minute surprise super belated birthday for Sebastian sayang. Here are the pictures. (Anyway, sorry for this boring post. I'm just so worn out right now.)

Short

2009-07-06T20:42:00.004+08:00

Spent my whole afternoon with baby. I'm really tired. Baby was un-glamorous because he farted twice again. Baby was such a pain in the ass on the way home that i got upset while he tried his best to pujuk me. I don't sulk for long so i was okay in five minutes though i kept hitting and punching him. Baby's playing takraw right now so i'll get my sleep now which means i won't fall asleep on him again for four straight days. I still can smell baby all over me. I love today. I love baby. I love Hamirul Hakim.

Baby!

2009-07-06T10:17:00.005+08:00

"I never want to lose you. Trust me, even if i swear at you, i still do love you."

Hearing these words from you made me love you even more. For all the bullshit we went through, for the many misunderstandings we had, for the many hurtful words we said to one another, it's still gonna be you, my dear. We almost lost each other quite a few times. Three weeks apart from you was insanely painful but being away from each other somehow made us understand each other better. Like they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Thank you for making me happy and yes, i still do love you very much.

Hugs and kisses

2009-07-05T20:10:00.008+08:00

HELLO (:

I'm in a really good mood now. Thanks to baby. I woke up early today (a first) because i needed to clean up my room since my new bed is coming in the afternoon and i wouldn't be at home as i'll be out with baby. Baby sent me a message when he woke up and when i read it, i smiled beamingly. It took only six words from him to make me smile like an idiot. Met baby around 1.30pm and it's been like almost three weeks(?) since we've had a proper meet up. Of course, i missed him insanely. But since we were supposed to study, we small talk-ed for less than five minutes and started on Math. We didn't talk to one another at all. Super engrossed studying la =.=' I wanted so much to talk but baby looks so fierce and engrossed with Math that i told myself to keep my mouth shut. Haha.

I stopped studying after one hour, after completing Math tuition homework. I was falling asleep. I was getting bored but still didn't dare talk to baby. He was still looking fierce and engrossed in Math. Haha. I did my puzzle book instead and then, out of nowhere, the cutest little thing ever jumped onto the table we were studying at. Baby got a fright, i just smiled and shrieked. Here, the cutest little ever...

Yes, a cat. Wait. I think it's a kitten still, maybe around two months plus? Looks fierce, right? But nah, just so happens that the kitten had its ears back when i took this picture. In fact, the kitten was so adorable and manje. I stroked it and it purred. But what made baby and me laugh was when she (yes, it's a female) suddenly lied down flat on baby's bag and fell asleep. Hahaha. So random la that kitten. She started stretching herself and being all manje. She reminded me of baby somehow. Hahaha. So for two hours plus, that kitten was with us and i kept playing with her. Baby and me got hungry and bought food from the vending machine. I bought the fish thingy for the kitten. Fed her and she was so gelojoh. Baby kept laughing and smiling. He didn't touch the kitten though. Haha.

It rained heavily so baby's sister met us and passed an umbrella for us. Baby and me went to Fajar Mac after studying because we really needed to pee. Cold day. Baby apologised again for being busy and not being able to spend time with me. He sent me home (huge smile). I was late for tuition but i didn't care one bit. I just wanted to spend more time with baby. Of course, i got my favourite hugs and kisses from him (: Nasrul and Walter were at home when i came back. And also my tuition teacher (bleargh). So i couldn't talk much to them. Reminded myself to focus but i kept thinking about baby (heh heh). I was glad when tuition ended. I took my phone and plopped myself onto my new bed (which by the way is super springy lol) and read baby's message. I smiled. It simply read "I love you more than you do."

I still can smell baby on me. I like! (cheeky smile)

And to end off, here..
:D :D :D :D :D

Before

2009-07-04T23:42:00.002+08:00

I'm getting a new bed tomorrow (yay!). Baby said he loves me (wheee). I look kiddy in my new hair. I had a great time at Tampines just now. I'm chatting with baby and Rahimah now. I love them both. And most probably, baby and me would be studying together tomorrow. Smiling, smiling, smiling.

Grr. I miss my bacin boy!

We're back!

2009-07-04T11:00:00.005+08:00

First and foremost, happy birthday to this favourite and gorgeous girlfriend of mine! I'm sorry i can't be there with the rest to celebrate your birthday. Anyway, i gave you the long essay at midnight right? Haha. Had fun reading it? Hahaha. You're simply the best Hawa. Really. Baby loves sayang? Remember that? HAHAHA. Your Esa loves you verrrryyyy much. Be healthy, happy and hyper always my dear (:

Moving on. Again, i was very tired yesterday. Was lying down and baby called a few minutes before midnight. It's nice to hear his voice before going to sleep. He was on his way back from takraw. I kept smiling throughout our phone conversation. Hung up when he wanted to bathe. He texted me soon after, saying he misses me and is sorry that he's been busy for the past few days. But i fell asleep on him again. Haha. Sorry baby! And he's up early today. He sent me a short and sweet good morning message (huge smile).

Will be meeting Annisa soon and heading to Bukit Batok to get a haircut. Wait. I don't even know what to do with my hair. I asked baby if i should cut my hair short. He said that i should cut a little but not too short. Haha. Hmmm, i'm still deciding. Will also be going to Tampines later. Spending time with my paternal family, even more when Cik Mas and Walter are in Singapore now. I feel like cutting my stomach open. It has been making problems for me for the past four days. JANNAH!!! HAHAHA.

I feel blessed to have the sweetest human beings ever around me ^^

Down

2009-07-03T23:08:00.007+08:00

Give me the power to travel back in time, exactly three years ago. Please. I want to undo the hugest mistake i've ever made. I still can't forgive myself for losing the most precious thing ever meant to me. I'm sorry for everything. You deserve so much more, you deserve all the happiness in the world. Everyone makes mistakes. But i shouldn't have made that one. Anything but that one.

Too late, Aisyah. Too late.

Simple love

2009-07-03T16:26:00.005+08:00

Chemistry practical. My favourite's on the right. That dark blue is sexy.

I dragged my lazy self to school today. I looked at my phone when i woke up and smiled. Four messages from baby. Haha. Sorry i fell asleep on you, my dear. I was just really tired. My body is still aching and i have three salonpas on my body; one on each shoulder and one on my back.

Went to the lab for Chemistry class. Cations. For the first time this week, i was really engrossed in something related to my studies. Lab work is always very laid back and fun. I helped pull Yazid's two strands of white hair (hahaha) while Irsyad held on to my two test tubes. Laughed and i smiled everytime white ppt was formed. It just looks really nice to me. Haha. Food and Nutrition class was okay i guess. Received Part B of Os coursework. Bleargh. Spent my after school hours with Atikah and Syafiqah. I had four hours of nothing but fun with them. And i bought a new puzzle book! Yes, again. It's just really addictive. I wished all my girlfriends luck for today Malay Os oral. I forgot to wish Irsyad though. But i did wish him eventually. A late good luck wish. But better late than never. Haha. Irsyad is always making me laugh because of "Are you thinking what i'm thinking?" Meeting Sebastian later because he's gonna tutor me Physics.

Paternal aunt and cousin from Germany are in Singapore now. I really miss them. Walter's only 15 and he's really tall now plus he has long hair. Kevin isn't here in Singapore though (frowning). Hahaha. I think i'm such a psycho to keep oogling at my very own cousin. I can't help it though. He's just really good looking. HAHAHA, rolling eyes. I think i'm going to put on weight soon. Because i've been indulging myself with salami that Cik Mas brought from Germany. And knowing Cik Mas, we're gonna go on a shopping spree very soon! (huge huge smile)

I think i need a haircut. I'm bored with my hairstyle now. I feel like cutting it short. Should i?

I MISS MISS MISS BABY!

Up for grabs,

2009-07-02T21:44:00.005+08:00

Thank you Syaf, Hawa, Atik, Irsyad and Jannah.
And sorry to Kniz.

I HAVE STALKERS HERE. Best :D

Cold

2009-07-01T18:47:00.005+08:00

Without these girls constantly nagging (heh) and advicing me, i'll be a complete total mess. They're my pillars of strength. They're the reason why i smile and laugh. I love each and every single one of you. Thank you for everything.

Late school day. However, met up with Cassandra sweetheart and Sebastian sayang early in the morning. I had a great time with them and my eyes were definitely okay when i was with them (huge smile). They made me laugh, they kept me distracted and i didn't even think much. I really am touched by these two sweet human beings. But we all had stomachaches because of milk tea. Haha. Cassandra and Sebastian said that i'll definitely be happy once i read this certain message. Heh. That message was from baby. Baby texted me in the morning wishing me happy anniversary. I smiled (:

Sad to say, i didn't pay attention to ALL lessons today. I just felt like taking a break from everything today. I had a great time with my girlfriends. Irsyad and Yazid made me laugh so much again today. I played two games with Annisa and we laughed like crazy. I know no amount of thank yous can show how grateful and thankful i am to have friends like them. They make me out of this world happy (grins). But but but, i have my Malay Os oral tomorrow. BEST! (sarcasm) Malay oral is scary shit la. Everyone knows i can't converse well in Malay. I only know hancur Malay. I failed my Malay oral for mid year, hopefully i can get at least a pass for Os? (crossing fingers) I hate the letter O, really. Ugh.

Happy anniversary darling.
We still need to work on the understanding-each-other-better part. But no matter what, i'm still glad i made this decision to be with you. The feel of your arms wrapped around me brings a smile to my face. No one else makes me happy and mad like you do. I love you Hamirul Hakim, i always have and always will. **Giving you a kiss on your forehead.
P.S. Stop cari pasal-ing with strangers, baby. Hahaha. Ily :D

Lost.

2009-06-30T20:36:00.004+08:00

I don't know what i want anymore.

Seth clearly knew what i was getting into. But he didn't want to be such an ass as to stop me. Hell, i used to hate it when you were so possessive and controlled my life. But now, i'm giving you permission to be selfish once again. Please be. Because somehow, you're always right. I should have listened to you. You should have stopped me. Now i know why you're always harsh and strict with me. But why did you let me be this time round? You shouldn't have. You shouldn't. I need you.

At a glance,

2009-06-30T15:10:00.007+08:00

I woke up at two in the morning and my eyes became disgusting and pathetic looking again. I don't know why it has to hurt this much. The feeling was overwhelming. My whole morning was ruined and i hardly spoke to anyone in the morning. Girlfriends wondered why and kept asking. And there wasn't a look of surprise on any one of their faces when they found out what happened. But they all gave me that same look, the we're-waiting for you-to-do-the-RIGHT-thing look. I faked a smile, well they know whenever i fake one. I feel grateful, thankful and blessed to have girlfriends like them.

My fould mood disappeared slowly when i received a text message from someone. It was really funny and i found myself smiling even if it's just for that while. Had P.E. today and my babes kept laughing and went crazy over something. Yes, it was funny but embarrassing(?) at the same time. Haha. Irsyad and Yazid made me feel less worse by being their crazy and annoying selves. I always have private chats with Irsyad, he's like one of my girlfriends (heh). Nah, he just understands me very well. Eight years, so whaddya expect right? And now, Irsyad's making me laugh like mad. Accounts class was fun and really funny. Nonoi and me had our little chit chat session while waiting for Jannah.

Something has been bugging me and driving me crazy since yesterday. Regret? Somehow, i want to go back in time, exactly four years ago.

I'm gonna be strong. I'm gonna be patient. I'm not gonna give up.
Seth, where are you? Arghhh.

I got to see baby's sexy legs today.

Loving you,

2009-06-29T20:47:00.005+08:00

Back to school! I met Cassandra early in the morning and had our HTHT. She doesn't know what happened for the past two weeks so she was really shocked. I couldn't even look at her straight in the eye when i told her everything. I just kept fiddling around with my fingers. She teared up after listening to everything. I was touched, really. If a friend tears up just by listening to your hardships, he/she is a true friend indeed. And yes, i was right again. My eyes did look ugly today. On a brighter note, i love you my darling sweetheart. Very very much.

School was boring. Hawa asked me how i was, actually girlfriends asked me that same question. Don't worry. I'm fine. Girlfriends all said that though i'm such a crybaby, i'm actually a strong person. I've always thought that i'm a weakling but then again, i've endured everything, haven't i?

Annisa waited for me to finish class and after that, we headed to her place. Yes, dark brown. No more red, or purple, or golden brown, or orangey. Just dark brown, back to my original hair colour. I like the smell of hair dye. Annisa was helping me wash my hair when baby texted me asking me where i was. Talked to him on the phone and fell asleep after that. Baby woke me up much later and asked what time i was going back home from Annisa's place. Somehow, i feel embarrassed that he heard my bacin voice. Haha. Left Annisa's place, walked back home in the rain and it felt nice. Today, i found my smile back. Today, i finally realise that i can do it. So i'm in a good mood right now. I'm really tired though.

Before going dark brown. And yes, i have curly hair (:

IF IT DOESN'T KILL YOU, IT ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER.

I'm okay

2009-06-28T21:56:00.003+08:00

Iskandar drew me this. Haha. It's not referring to anyone anyway :S

I'm happy because i managed to get two korean songs that i wanted. I'm happy because i spent a great time talking to my darling Rahimah on the phone just now. I'm also happy because i'm meeting my beloved sweetheart early in the morning tomorrow. I'm going to scream her name and give her a huge hug. I miss her the most and we need loads of catching up to do. But an advanced warning, i think my eyes will get worse tomorrow. I'm not ready for school, i mean, who is, really? But i miss my classmates.

I'm okay. Really, i am (:

I finally received all the pictures from Annisa and my elder sister.
For pictures, go to
http://www.flickr.com/photos/39605483@N06/

Pretending

2009-06-28T14:21:00.004+08:00

Yesterday's shopping spree has taken its toll on me. I'm broke right now but i managed to get birthday presents for girlfriends and something for baby. I've been indulging myself in ice cream almost everyday. My comfort food. For the past two weeks, i really hate my eyes. They're so disgusting and pathetic looking. I'm still wondering how i'm going to decorate the box, funny how i almost cut my finger when i read that text message which simply read _____. So many things are going through my head, i think i know what to do this Wednesday? I'm at a loss for words, always being hesitant at the slightest things. I'm afraid. I don't know why, really. It feels so overwhelming. Again and again, it just won't go away.

When the days are hard, it gets sad. The pain that causes the tears to come. It will end someday. Pride, huge egos? Overrated. Reality check, please. Rather than blaming one another for their mistakes, we didn't once realise ours. Words are easy to say, meaning what you say and doing them is a whole different thing. Despite everything, deep down inside, i know we're strong enough to face all these hardships thrown at us. Insecure feelings just simply need to go away. I can't promise you happy days, i can't promise you a smile, i can't promise you a laugh. But i'm going to be strong, i'm going to be patient, i'm not going to give up. This i can promise you.

You forgot. But here i am reminding you. And if this doesn't work, i'll see you in my dreams.

I hope no one sees these scars tomorrow.

I love Hawa!

2009-06-26T23:52:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the 3rd post. But i just can't help it. Me and Hawa are laughing like mad over something. It won't be funny to the rest of you, i'm sure. Only my girlfriends would know (: So here it goes.

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
crazy bastard

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
HAHAHA

HAWA says:
tau tkper! he's like so alim all of the sudden

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
YEAH YEAH

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
crazy bastard

HAWA says:
hahahaha. then?

HAWA says:
JEALOUS PE

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
step nak baik pulak. ish! hahaha

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
GILA SIAK JANTAN TU

HAWA says:
hahahahahaah

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
boleh muntah hawa

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
hahaha im vomiting everything out right now

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
hahahahahhaa

HAWA says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA

HAWA says:
funny sial. mcm EHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERM atok2

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
tu pasal ah. i want to tell hamirul everything later!

HAWA says:
hahahaah

HAWA says:
mampos (insert name) kene bantai

HAWA says:
hahaha

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
haha siaper kisah?

Aisyah Syaahindah ! says:
hahahah

HAWA says:
ENTA !

HAWA says:
biar padan muker der !

I LOVE OUR CONVERSATION! (HUGE HUGE SMILE)

Ups and downs,

2009-06-26T21:55:00.004+08:00

I'm feeling much much better. I'm having fun chatting with my favourite girlf, Hawa. I like! (grins) Sebastian cheered me up and i really don't know how to thank him. I met him just now and he passed me a mug that said "Simply the best friend...ever!" I don't think i am the best friend ever. But anyhow, i'm really thankful and grateful (inside joke, hahaha) that he got me the mug. Thank you! Be happy always (:

See this picture? My Mongieeeeee and his girlfriend. They've been together for quite some time. I only remembered to post about this now. Haha. I don't think many of you bother also but what the heck. Anyway, I'm jumping for joy for him. MC Mong's happy, so i'm happy (huge smile). My Mongieeee is super hot righttttt? (cheeky smile)

Downs, downs and more downs, i'm still very much in love with you.

DONE

2009-06-26T12:16:00.003+08:00

I don't need the pain.
Once or twice was enough.
But.
It's one whole cycle.
It's draining all of me.
I'm tired.

Fell. Got up. Fell. Got up. Fell. Got up. Fell. Got up. Fell. Not getting up.

All smiles,

2009-06-25T11:01:00.003+08:00

Maybe it's just my moodswings, but my mood have been changing really fast ever since yesterday. I was grumpy and cranky yesterday but became really happy and hyper because i spent quality sms time with baby till one in the morning. Haha. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and was cursing under my throat profusely. I was surprised to see that i've received a text message from baby. He's awake early today. When i read the message, i laughed out loudly and smiled widely. What a way to start our morning. My foul mood disappeared slowly as baby's messages kept coming in.

So, baby just made my morning a wonderful one. I might be meeting him later before heading to Annisa's place. I'm gonna give him a big big hug when i see him. He's so huggable, that's why.

In a matter of minutes, baby's turned me into cheesy love sick girl. You're gonna be all mine mine mine later. I love you Hamirul Hakim! ^^

I don't like you

2009-06-24T20:07:00.003+08:00

Annisa and Iskandar (Annisa's cousin) made my day today. I love them. They want me to distress and take me out tomorrow. With Shawifi (Annisa's cousin as well as my primary school friend) and Nasrul (Annisa's brother). Well, i'm really close to them. They're like my own family. Anyway, this whole outing thingy started with Nasrul wanting me to accompany him to get a new bag. And i told Annisa, why not have a proper outing with the rest. Yeah. The outing's not confirmed yet though. But Isk promises me that tomorrow will be one of the best days in my life. HAHA. They're really trying their best to make me smile and be happy. Thank you. Anyway, we're all like family, so i'm sure we'll have fun tomorrow. IF we do go out together that is. Heh. We took lots of pictures just now (webcam). I'll upload them when i get them from Annisa.

Today, i take back my words. What's the point, really? So much for everything. You're just words, words, words. No action at all. Hypocrite. A big fat liar. Sarcasm's now your bestfriend, aye? I want to hit you. I want to hit you. I want to hit you.

I really don't like you today.

Bored

2009-06-24T10:45:00.004+08:00

I woke up feeling grumpy due to some reasons. I went to Cassandra's blog and laughed and smiled. This gorgeous girlfriend of mine! Of course it's you i miss. I have only one sweetheart and that's you, ya know. I miss your smile, i miss your laughter, i miss your screams, i miss your hugs, i miss your voice even. HAHA. I really miss you my dear (:

I'm not in school for the last minute Chemistry class. I'm so tired and beat. Oh! Transformers in theatres today! Shia Labeouf! (grins)

For two days, baby's been making me one extremely happy girlfriend. Sayang, i want you nooowwwww. If i do see you later, you're gonna be all mine! ^^

Ja Ja Jannah!

2009-06-23T16:35:00.005+08:00

One of the best (:

Amazingly, i went to school today just for Physics. Met Jannah and we waited for Syaza. Did the same practical like yesterday and it's much easier doing it without Irsyad honestly. Lol. Nahh, it's just that Irsyad and me talk too much that we don't concentrate on the practical itself. Anyway, Sebastian talked to me about certain matters and i gave him my advice. After that, headed to BPP with Jannah. Walked around and went to the library. And that's when everything started. Story telling session! We kept laughing and i guess after three hours spent with me, she got to know me much much much better, aye? Hahaha (inside joke). I love Jannah!

I might be meeting baby later at night. Might not either. My stomach is aching again. Arghh. Since i've not seen baby at all today, i'm starting to miss him. If i do meet him later, i'm gonna run up to him and give him a big big hug! I want to entertain his manje self, talk and laugh non stop with him, tell him about how my day went, ask him about how his day went, smell his shoulders, beat him in taiti again and watch him sulk when he loses. Haha. I love my silly boyfriend. Very much.

I really really really (x100) miss my sweetheart.

Marvelous Monday

2009-06-22T18:36:00.005+08:00

She's one of my favourite people (:

I woke up with a huge smile on my face because i love baby's conversation with me yesterday. It was really funny and it left me smiling and laughing to myself. So much for not wanting to go to school yesterday. I miss my girlfriends, guyfriends and baby! So, I was supposed to go to school with baby today but since i start at 9am and he starts 9.30am, i decided not to. But apparently, Jannah got the timing wrong. Classes only start at 9.30am. Hahah. But but but. There wasn't any Math class in the end, so my next class starts at 11am. So Jannah and me went to eat breakfast (inside joke). Oh. I hugged Jannah so tight when i saw her. I really missed her. Nonoi met us and we three sat down and talked. Went for Physics class after that. Practical. Did my practical with Irsyad since Yazid kept taking our apparatus away. Haha. Irsyad and me talked about certain matters again. Irsyad and Yazid made me laugh like crazy today. They've not changed throughout these nine years we've been close to each other.

Baby called me when i was in class. He was already waiting for me. So i told him to wait awhile and that i'll meet him asap. Syaza and me had trouble going out of school. It was really funny. In our silly attempt to get out of school, i tripped and almost fell backwards. Syaza kept laughing. It was so funny, really. I apologised to baby for being late and we walked to my place. We played taiti and i won him twice and he didn't want to continue playing after that. Hahaha. After that, we both transformed into our childish selves i guess. We played a really stupid game using the poker cards. It was really stupid but we kept laughing and laughing. He was being his manje self of course. In fact, i've never seen him this manje before. I leaned my head on his shoulder, breathed in his smell that i absolutely love and smiled to myself.

It was kinda weird seeing how very okay baby and me were after going through such a chaotic week. I smiled beamingly when he kissed me on my forehead out of nowhere. Last week was really horrible. I'm just glad it's all over. You made my day today. I love you, darling!

I'm beginning to love my sengau voice. (rolling eyes)

Sunday already?

2009-06-21T13:55:00.003+08:00

This picture looks kinda crude in a way. My Gerrard, Her Kaka (:

I don't know if it's just my signess or i'm getting the flu, but i've been sneezing non stop for almost an hour already. My nose feels as if it'll fall right off. Tsk. Baby's texting me right now. I'm all wrapped up in my jacket, blanket and socks. I'm lazy to go to school tomorrow.

I really really don't know how to thank Atikah, Hawa, Nizar, Annisa and Jannah for everything they've done to help me feel better and to keep my thoughts away from (insert word). I don't know what i'll do without them these few days. Thank you, really.

And to my darling Rahimah, let's both be strong. I'm always here for you, alright? So just text me or something when you need a listening ear or whenever you feel bored. I miss you.

My stomach is still aching. Bottomline, the month of June sucks.

Baby just texted me saying he misses me. I miss you too, my dear.

Just a little more

2009-06-20T21:30:00.006+08:00

My elder sisters.

Moving on. Maternal cousins came over today. I had fun. But my thoughts were still elsewhere. Went to Sungai Kadut with my mamas and sisters. I'm getting a new bed. I'm getting a new room too.

For pictures, go to
http://www.flickr.com/photos/39605483@N06/

I want to be excited about getting a new room and bed, really. But i'm just so tired. It rained heavily soon after, so i texted baby. I texted him to remind him to bathe when he gets home if he gets drenched in the rain. My stomach ached again. I think i really have to start worrying about myself. So much have happened that i've neglected my own health. I've lost weight again, i've been vomiting and i'm down with a fever.

Well, i've been spending my time playing Guitar Heroes 2 and 3, Burnout and Bomberman on PS2 these past few days. To keep myself distracted from everything especially (insert word), i've resorted to this. My sisters know everything and they're furious. I don't blame them. Even girlfriends are furious too. My three Ms; Mithalina, Mikael and Marsya came over yesterday. So at least i was smiling and laughing. Little kiddos like them always make me happy. Baby texted me yesterday telling me that he's not feeling well and that he vomited. So normal procedure, i got worried, asked him if he had a fever, told him to drink lots of warm plain water, asked where he was and told him to eat something. He texted me later and i was glad to know that he's feeling much better. Hey sayang, take good care of yourself understand? Don't skip meals, don't get too stressed with your studies, sleep early, don't get sick, okay?

A big thank you to everyone who's been trying their very best to make me feel much better. Thank you. I love ya'll very very much.

I've been thinking alot these past few days. But today, i didn't have that much hatred and anger in me. I just kept thinking about the good times. I even smiled to myself thinking about the good times.

We both know we're stronger than this. I'm sticking to my promises. Let's just forget everything that happened and start afresh.

2009-06-19T15:21:00.001+08:00

Bottomline, SHIT HAPPENS.

Let's make this work.

I love you baby.

Dead

2009-06-19T12:57:00.005+08:00

I keep thinking and thinking.

I don't know what to do. But what i know is that i don't have the strength to do this anymore.

I need all my girlfriends now :'(

Pure shit

2009-06-18T22:07:00.007+08:00

A BIG FUCK YOU TO YOU, YOU BLOODY PIECE OF SHIT!

Time out

2009-06-18T20:32:00.006+08:00

My favourite girls always (:

For more pictures, go to
www.flickr.com/photos/39605483@N06/

I went out with Hawa, Atik and Adilah (Atik's sister). My favourite girls wanted to make me feel better and just have a time out from everything. Ate breakfast, Atik and Adilah had their haircuts, lepak-ed, Hawa left (jeng jeng jeng!), went to Atik's house and went back home. I kept daydreaming and thinking about (insert word). Atikah and Hawa held onto my phone for me so that i'll not have the urge to text (insert word). They could see how distracted i was and they're worried. I love them for trying to make me feel better, for always understanding me, for always being there. I'm chatting with Jannah now. I asked her, "If (insert words) me, what am i supposed to do?" She simply replied, "Come to me. I'll lend you my shoulder and ears." Awww. That's why i love my darling Jannah so much. Even when i was with my favourite girls, i wasn't myself. I want this to stop. RIGHT NOW! It's been five freaking days. What the fuck is wrong with you, Aisyah Syaahindah?!

My stomach has been hurting like hell the whole day. I don't know why. Arghh.

I'm really really really emotionally tired. Sigh.

Best girlfriends

2009-06-17T19:04:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow, i'll be strictly unavailable.

I need to let off steam. I need to let everything out before i turn totally mental. Because i've been a complete mess.

ATIKAH AND HAWA, HERE I COME!

Screw you bitch

2009-06-17T16:51:00.006+08:00

We gather strength from sadness and from pain.

Sometimes i just don't understand people. Does it feel good to know you've inflict hurt on someone? Does it feel good being labelled all the bad things you can ever think of just because you want to make that someone suffer? Does it feel good to be known as THAT GIRL? Does it feel even better knowing that you've almost ruined something so genuine? You laugh, you scoff, you smile, you're happy. Of course you are. You're nothing but a selfish, shameless, low life nobody. But do you know how much hatred you've brought out? You're so oblivious or maybe you're just simply heartless. Stop acting like you're the only person on earth. It's pathetic. Enough is enough. Grow up.

Life's been rough these past few days. A big thank you to Jannah, Annisa, Hawa and Nizar for being there.

A big sorry to baby for chaotic days. Anger, hurt, hatred and tears. What in the world happened to us? We said things we didn't mean to say. We did things that really hurt one another. We didn't spare a thought for one another and didn't even try to understand each other. Yes, it's really tough and it hurts alot. But i have to be strong, we have to be strong. That's the only way for us to continue this relationship. We've made big promises to one another and i'm keeping them. Leaving is never an option for us. I want happy days with you. I want to get squashed in your arms and smell your shoulders. Though we've been through hell these past few days, you do know that i'm still very much in love with you right? I miss your kisses on my forehead. I miss you, you manje Hamirul Hakim! Study dates marathon, sayang!

One week holiday

2009-06-15T11:37:00.004+08:00

I miss my old hair.

I was excited to see baby's message but when i read the message, i was speechless. I'm trying to understand him. But honestly, i simply can't. I really do trust him but..

Annisa and Nizar agree with me. ANNISA!!! :'(

Fuck. Whatever. I'm going shopping soon. And i'm not gonna let that (insert word) get the better of me. I'm gonna shop till i drop. I'm gonna have fun with my two mothers and elder sister. I'm gonna be oblivious and emotionless today.

Something's fishy.

Camp

2009-06-14T23:09:00.007+08:00

PICTURES FIRST. (Sorry for the blur pictures)

Jannah, Aisyah, Nonoi.

24/7 crazy-ness with Atik!

My favourite, always (:

My girls.

I absolutely love her!

Okay. Camp was fun yet tiring. Hands down, JunJie (Woobin) and Ming were the best instructors i've ever had. I'm really gonna miss them, especially Woobin. For the past three days, i've been my crazy self with my girls (all in the above pictures). Playing "What Am I?" (finally!), whispering "bombings" to one another and being all loyar buruk to one another. Made a card for mama and also for baby since i had extra paper left. Helped Irsyad with his and we talked about certain stuff. Yazid and Cassandra went on to represent our class in the memory competition thingy. I'm proud of them. I predicted Atikah would win the competition since i know what a good memory this small, crazy, loud girlfriend of mine has. And true enough, she won. I'm extremely proud of her. Baby's chinese friends kept asking Sebastian about me. They kept teasing me about baby. Hahah.

Camp ended at around 9pm. I didn't realise that baby texted me and called me twice. I met him at the traffic light and was again being teased at by baby's chinese friends. Terence and Sebastian laughed at me. I was just simply embarrassed. Hahaha. Baby had rashes all over his body. It was disgusting honestly. HAHA. His face, arms, neck, back, legs. I told him to stop taking his antibiotics because he could have a drug allery. He kept scratching and whining. Haha. Poor him. We rushed over to GSC in hopes of buying Calamine lotion. But Guardian was closed. So i went home and told mama that i needed the Calamine lotion. So, baby and me sat under my block and i applied a little Calamine lotion on his arm since he hasn't bathe. I was scratching his whole back for him and slapping his face lightly to stop the itchiness. A stranger looked at me strangely when he saw me slapping baby's face continuously. HAHA. Baby kissed me goodbye on my forehead. I smiled.

I'm going shopping tomorrow! I'm excited. But i'm just so tired. Tsk.

I wonder if baby's rashes are gone.

Shoot me in the head please!

2009-06-11T20:50:00.004+08:00

I made a huge huge huge huge (multiply that infinity times) mistake today. Baby got so mad at me. Well, he got hurt more than mad. I think if i stayed a longer time with him, he might just beat the crap out of me. And yes, i deserve it. I deserve to be hit by baby. He didn't hit me of course. Today was a huge wake up call for me. I'm mending my ways, throwing away my bad habits. When he said those three words, i felt as though i was tearing into pieces. I never want that to happen, never ever. The look on his face just now broke my heart. He was practically hurting so much that i felt like hurting myself. His teary eyes reminded me how useless and pathetic i've become. After today, i'm never letting him go through that again. Never. And if i do, i deserve to be dumped by him. Today made me realise how serious and sincere he is in this relationship. I've been apologising to him profusely and though he has forgiven me, i can't forgive myself for making him go through that. I don't think i ever will.

I'm really sorry for always showing you my weak side. I'm always crying in front of you, aren't i? I'm really sorry. Sorry. I love you. I really love you. I'm just so sorry. Don't be mad anymore please. I'll make it up to you, i swear. And i promise you that that will be my first and last time i'll ever be doing that. I love you.

:'(

Exhausted,

2009-06-10T20:46:00.004+08:00

Happy belated birthday to this gorgeous girl. Sorry for the late wish. Get plenty of rest and enjoy your holidays. I miss you! Be happy always, little sis. I love you (:

Chatting with Seth now. I miss him. I didn't attend school today. In the afternoon, accompanied baby to the polyclinic. His fever hasn't subsided and it has already been three days. Honestly, i was really tired but it's my job to make sure he's okay and be there whenever he needs me. We went to BPP after that and ate. I treated the sick boy to lunch. Haha. Baby went home and i met Annisa after that. Grr, i miss her so much. We talked, laughed and basically, had a really good time together. Well, i always have a fun time when i'm with her. I was back home by 6pm because i don't think my body would last another minute being outside. And in less than ten minutes after getting back home, i fell asleep. I am still sleepy now and am having a splitting headache. Baby just texted me, telling me that his fever has subsided (finally!). Modern medicine! (grins) So right now, i don't have to worry so much. I guess i have to start worrying about myself because i'm losing weight excessively again and am always feeling weak. I'm really so exhausted now. I don't feel like going to school tomorrow. I don't feel like eating. I just feel like sleeping and bathing in ice water. The hot weather is killing me. I never thought i'd say this (because everyone knows i hate rainy weather), but RAIN, WHERE ARE YOU?!

I'm cranky and moody right now. I want my boyfriend now. I want to snuggle up to him and fall asleep in his arms.

I love my girlfriends!

2009-06-09T22:05:00.006+08:00

I love today. Thanks to these girls in the picture above.

I finally went to school with Annisa and i really miss her. I sat with her during recess and she fed me rice. HAHA. She loves to pamper me what and i'm not complaining. I didn't talk much to Cassandra and Lijun today but it's the little things they do that make me smile. Cassandra showed me her adorable smile every time i looked at her and Lijun hugged me and said she missed me. With just that, these two amazing girls made me really happy today. Nonoi and me started making bird sounds and surprisingly, we're good at it. So Syaza and Jannah kept making fun of us. I had a really fun time with Jannah today, standard uh. Every time spent with her always leave me smiling and crazy. My crazy girls Hawa and Atikah were their usual self today which i really love. And we spent our breaks eating together, laughing, talking and criticising one another. They kept teasing me about baby. And we really miss playing "What Am I?" The three of us are really very loyar buruk, geesh. These eight girls of mine clearly made my day into a brilliant one. I love them very very much!

I met baby though he was still down with fever. I spent nearly four hours with him and i just love his presence. He was his irritating self yet he made me laugh like crazy. I irritated him as well. I kept touching his neck and forehead and told him how high his temperature was by just doing that. Yeah, i pretended to be a thermometer =.=' I kept making faces to him. So in return, he purposely kept banging into me. It's a must to talk alot when i'm with him and i think he got tired listening to me. I told him to bring a scotchtape next time. Chet. I sent him home again because i wasn't sure he could make it back home safely. So like yesterday, i did alot of walking. I'm not complaining anyway, it's my responsibility as his girlfriend to take care of him and make sure he's okay. HAHAHA. I bet girlfriends (especially Atikah and Hawa, heh) are rolling their eyes as they read this. Hahaha. I've been sleeping for the past four hours and am still sleepy. Baby is texting me right now and he feels like eating KFC. There he goes again with his cravings, exactly like a pregnant woman.

Good luck to all Food and Nutrition students that are doing the execution tomorrow! Don't injure or cut yourselves while cooking alright? Take pictures of your ending results okay? All the best (:

And did i tell you guys that baby was so un-glamorous today and farted twice when he was with me just now?! HAHAHA. I am still very much in love with him though. (huge huge smile)

Tiring day

2009-06-08T21:16:00.003+08:00

I miss being all manje to my pabo :(

Just ended my phone conversation with baby.

Baby wasn't feeling well since yesterday. So before fetching him under his block in the morning, i rushed over to GSC 7-11 to get strepsils for him. Passed him my Nike water bottle too. I kept nagging at him to drink lots of plain water. He only realised much later that i wrote something on my water bottle for him. Tsk. I got worried when he told me he has a slight fever. I went to the General Office, in hopes of getting some panadol for him but couldn't get any.

Met him after school. His eyes were watery and he looked really weak. I held my hand on his neck to feel his body temperature and scolded him. He was really hot. I forced him to take his temperature again and it rose to 38.4degrees celcius. In a matter of few hours, he went from having a slight fever to having a high fever. I forced him to drink more water and carried his books all the way. Went to GSC Banquet and he ate porridge. Hahaha. My boyfriend was like a big baby today. Lol. I just stared at him while he ate. I lied to him in the end and told him that i was meeting Seth near his place. I lied, i wasn't meeting Seth. I lied because i wanted to send him home. I had to make sure he arrives home safely. He kissed me goodbye on my forehead. I smiled. Baby texted me much later when i got home after i settled some other affairs. The text message read, "B, i need you now." Haha. I smiled again. He's so manje la especially when he's sick. Chet.

I did so much walking today. And really, i'm exhausted!
Chatting with my sweetheart Cassandra and i really miss her!

I'm sleepy. So i'll end it here. Take care everyone.

It's just a matter of time,

2009-06-07T12:21:00.002+08:00

24/7, he makes me smile. One of my favourite people ever. My Mongieeeee! :D

I miss my boyfriend.

All smiles,

2009-06-07T01:09:00.004+08:00

My horrible day turned eventually turned into an okay one. Because in the end, i got to meet baby (huge smile). Fetched him at Senja around 8.30pm and just the sight of him walking towards me made me really happy. I always smile when i see the little kiddos at mama's childcare running towards their parents and hugging them with huge, beaming smiles on their faces when their parents pick them up. I thought i was like one of them just now. Because i walked towards baby (as fast as i could, i couldn't run, not in front of so many people) and hugged him. He was all sticky and sweaty though after playing scocer. Hahaha. But i really don't care. He kept screaming at me when i wiped his sweat off his face and neck with my bare hands. He said it's dirty. I told him that urine and shit are then dirty. Chet.

I told baby that there was a kuda kepang nearby and we watched it for awhile. He didn't want to at first but i persuaded him to. Headed to GSC after that. Due to the FREAKING hot weather, we went to Shop and Save first and soaked in the cool air conditioner. I bought my Korean movie after that, so i was really happy. But baby was having his "MEN-struation". He was practically having moodswings because of the hot weather and he was really tired. In fact, i got really annoyed with his moodswings and gave him my masam face which he hates. So we were even. Sat down with baby near my block and did i ever tell you how gatal and fickle minded he is? He felt like really eating yongtaufoo all of sudden, as though he's pregnant =.=' So we headed to GSC again and ate yongtaufoo at Banquet. We talked and talked and talked non stop. And i kept laughing at his sengau voice. Very meeeekkkk voice. And he couldn't finish his yongtaufoo, so i helped him. Haha. He sent me home at 10.30pm and that's another good two hours spent with my irritating boyfriend.

I still am very much in love with my boyfriend. Let's go roller blading one day, sayang! I'll teach you! (huge huge smile)

Seething,

2009-06-06T11:30:00.004+08:00

I dreamt of something which ticked me off so bad even though it's just a dream. What a way to start my morning. And also, i wish this certain ex of mine would rot in hell. Ugh. Irritating motherf. I'm really not in a good mood today. And i still have to do house chores which i hate. I don't know what i ate but i'm getting rashes and i'm getting annoyed. Baby texted me about something which made me feel uncomfortable. I'm just so exhausted. I'm loaded with homework. And i still have tuition tomorrow. And tuition homework is just really amazing, ya know. I've yet to get started on certain parts of my coursework. I've yet to start revising. I'm such a procrastinator. I really wish i could own a punching bag. I need to let off steam but i just can't. So here i am fuming and constantly cursing under my throat. I don't think i can meet baby today and i'll be all cooped up at home, all bored, which just rounds up what a fucked up day today will be. Annisa, slap me will you?

And to this certain girl, please have some originality, alright? Ugh. Disgusting.

I feel like stuffing myself with ice cream. Anyone?

**Breathe in, breathe out.

15 days straight

2009-06-05T22:39:00.005+08:00

My babes.

A proper post now.

I woke up at 6.30am but my body ached and my eyes wanted more sleep. I dragged my zombie self and told mama that i wanted to go to school late. She nagged at me, but my mood is never right in the morning, so i glared at her and went right back to sleep. Reached school at 10.15am but before that, i went to Fajar Mac to get myself breakfast. Walked into the canteen and the first person i saw was baby's friend. He gave me this certain look. His face clearly showed what he was thinking. A million bucks (if i had a million bucks but whatever) that he was wondering if me and baby are still fighting. Well, we aren't! Heh. Sat with my girls and shared my breakfast with them. They started telling me about how their days went yesterday. And i told them about the weird dream i dreamt about Syaza and _____. Haha. Made a card for Mdm Haryani too since it's her last day. I'm gonna miss her loads. I'm sure the rest of us will too.

I miss my girlfriends. I want a girlfriends outing like very very soon alright? Let's watch a movie or something! Or let's go roller blading! Or swimming! Or let's just play "What am i?"! Grr. I love my girlfriends more than anything in the world. Nothing can top them. Nothing. (Yes, not even my boyfriend.)

I'm not leaving. I won't. I promise. And this is a promise i'll keep.

Random

2009-06-05T12:12:00.002+08:00

I miss my girlfriends Annisa, Jannah, Hawa, Atikah, Cassandra and Lijun!

All of a sudden, i feel like drinking milk tea.

I have a boyfriend who is plain silly and paranoid. But i still adore him very much. Happy days, happy days with him! Heh heh (huge smile)

Kissed and made up

2009-06-04T21:16:00.003+08:00

In ten minutes or so, he found me. He kept saying, "You ah!", kept jentik-ing me and lightly hitting my leg because i got him worried. But that worried sick look on his face reminded me that i should never do that to him again. Anyway, i'm sure we'll have fights along the way and it'll hurt alot but every single fight we've had so far has only made us stronger. I love my darling boyfriend. Very much. Grrr. I'm already missing him now!

I wish we'd both stop being paranoid

2009-06-04T13:50:00.006+08:00

I miss HTHTs with my darling sweetheart.

Sorry for yesterday's post. A proper post today. It's 1.56pm right now and i'm in my pajamas and boxers, moody and looking really bacin because i've yet to bathe. I didn't go to school today because i am so f.exhausted.

Let's talk about yesterday. I went to school with baby. So, fetched him under his block in the morning and gave him a surprise. I made him a small card and i got a kiss in return (wheee). But my day didn't turn out well. I was down with fever and slept throughout Math class. I was grateful to baby for rushing and accompanying me to Bangkit to get strawberries for my FnN execution. But i almost got a heart attack when i tripped over this string. Thank god he was there to hold onto me. He kept touching my neck and hands and kept telling me that my body temperature is hot. He sent me to the kitchen, wished and kissed me good luck. I smiled. The execution was really scary honestly. Even if it was just cooking. I burnt my finger and got many cuts on my hands. Eventually, i was quite satisfied with the ending result, i guess?

I felt bad towards baby because he waited so long for me. I kept going out of the kitchen and shouted from four storeys above, telling him that i'm sorry and that i was finishing soon. He fell asleep waiting for me in the end. I wanted to scream "Sayang!" the moment i saw him but instead, i walked quietly and sat beside him carefully, making sure not to wake him up. I stared at his face while he slept but woke him up a few minutes later. We ended up sitting at the umbrella for quite some time and he ate some of the things i cooked. He praised me and said i am really good cook. Haha. He gave me a haiyo-you-ah look when he took my hand and saw the many cuts and burns on my fingers. He knows i'm really clumsy.

Walked home with him. But before heading home, we went to Annisa's place and i gave her loads of fruit jellies. I don't know why but when i'm with baby, my clumsy-ness is at its worst. Suffered many almost heart attacks. I almost fell flat while crossing the road. I tripped over the drain but managed to stable myself and stand on both feet. Baby kept giving me that same look.

Everything was fine until we fought. Every couple fights, right? So yeah. But it hurt alot. Well, it should hurt. If not, then there's definitely something wrong with me right? I confided everything to Annisa and she listened patiently and gave me advice. Thanks pabo! Seth told me that when a couple fights, it means they love each other. I'm forgetting that me and baby fought anyway. I don't like fighting with him and i'm not gonna allow fights like these ruin us.

In fact, i miss him very much now and want to cuddle up to him and be all manje towards him!

:'(

2009-06-03T21:56:00.003+08:00

Two words to describe today: Fucked up.

Sometimes, i really don't understand you. You're so wrong to think that way. How could you even think that way anyway? This fight is petty but hurts alot. But you should know that no matter what, i still do love you very much.

Exhausted

2009-06-02T23:17:00.003+08:00

I went back at 11pm. So that's a good four hours spent with my beloved boyfriend. Fetched him under his block and he looked adorable as always. I smiled. He looked at my list of ingredients and laughed. Headed for BPP first to get some stuff and then to Sheng Siong. He was so keen on pushing the trolly and i just kept smiling. The shoppers there kept looking at us. I wondered what was going through their minds honestly. But i think i know. It does feel weird to go grocery shopping with your boyfriend. Anyway, i thought i'd lost him in Sheng Siong after i went to look for one of my ingredients. I kept looking around and when i turned to my left, i saw him, leaning against the trolley. For some reason, i smiled to myself. He looked up and saw me and smiled. Seeing that smile, that favourite crooked smile of his made me feel really happy. I never thought i'd be this happy.

We spent the remaining three hours talking and opening up to one another. But i wanted to smack him. Because he didn't eat and his stomach really hurt and ended up having a really bad headache. I didn't like it one bit when he was in pain. On a lighter note, he sent me home and made my day. He told me, "I love you more than you do." I smiled. Today, i realise how much he really means to me. Today, i realise that i never want him to leave. Today, i realise how much i really do love him.

You know how everything feels so right when you're in love? (HAHAHA)

Let's go grocery shopping, sayang!

2009-06-02T15:48:00.004+08:00

I'm stressed out because i only got to know today that i have to do my execution tomorrow. Nothing is prepared, i am not mentally prepared. I'm really cranky and moody right now. But being the sweetheart my darling boyfriend is, he's going to accompany me to grocery shopping at Sheng Siong! Hahahaha =.='